They’ve been married for seven years — but haven’t had sex in six.

For Gus and his husband, it’s not a sign of failure, it’s just part of how their open marriage works.

In this episode of Doing Sex, Sahar talks to her good friend Gus, a gay man whose relationship flips almost every traditional idea of love and desire on its head. He’s deeply in love with his husband, but their sex life exists entirely elsewhere. For Gus, the colder and more transactional the encounter, the better. Sex, he says, is easy. Love is what takes work.

Gus talks about what happens when sex and love start living in different places, how jealousy really works inside an open marriage, and brutal honesty is the only way forward. He's hilarious, candid, and uncomfortably honest — a story about freedom, intimacy, and what it takes to stay connected when the rules of love are rewritten.

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