When you love someone with relational trauma—someone who's been abandoned, betrayed, or emotionally neglected—it can feel like you're always walking a tightrope. You're trying to be patient, consistent, and safe… but sometimes, no matter what you do, it still feels like you're being punished for pain you didn’t cause.

In this episode of Coupled With, Dr. Rachel Orleck breaks down the hidden dynamics that trauma brings into a relationship—how protectors clash, why emotional shutdowns create disconnect, and what happens when love gets tangled up with survival strategies. This episode speaks directly to the partners trying to love someone through trauma without losing themselves in the process.

You’ll walk away with powerful insights, practical tools, and a new sense of hope for creating a relationship where bothpeople feel seen, safe, and wanted.

Whether you're the partner who's been hurt—or the one trying to reach them—this episode is for you.

🛠️ What You’ll Learn:

1. What relational trauma actually is (and how it subtly shows up in your relationship)
2. The trauma cycle that keeps both partners stuck—and how to spot it
3. The emotional toll of being the “strong one” in the relationship
4. How to offer compassion without becoming your partner’s emotional airbag
5. Tiny shifts that foster safety and connection (without self-erasure)
6. Scripts and regulation tips you can use in the moment
7. Why consistency—not perfection—is what actually builds trust

💌 Resources Mentioned:

🎁 Free 7-Day Course — Break the Cycle: 7 Days to Stop the Same Fight and Rebuild Connection

Get daily insights and doable practices to shift the cycle and reconnect.

👉 www.drrachelorleck.com

🔁 Next Episode Preview:

Next week, we flip the lens.

If you’re the one with relational trauma—if closeness feels dangerous, if you pull away when you most want to lean in, if you’re tired of feeling ashamed for how you show up—you don’t want to miss this. I’ll be talking directly to you: no shame, just truth, compassion, and small steps back into connection without losing yourself.

🙌 Connect + Share:

If this episode resonated, please subscribe and leave a review—it helps the show reach more people who need it.

And if you’re feeling brave, send this episode to your partner. Not as a weapon, but as an invitation.

“This made me feel seen. I’d love for you to hear it too.”

Resources

1. Free Course | Break the Cycle: A self-paced introduction to understanding your patterns and nervous system responses.
2. Private Coaching (Limited Availability): High-touch, individualized support for deep relational pattern change.
3. The Attachment Revolution Membership — Waitlist: Ongoing education, tools, and live support for building more secure relationships.
4. Meaningful Journey Counseling (WA residents only): Licensed therapy services for individuals and couples in Washington State.

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are experiencing significant distress, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or medical provider.