(keywords) (slightly edited version) Spiritual practices, spiritual gymnastics, dramatic efforts, retreats, real practice, addicted, discontentment, bypass, emotions, early-life, not ready, willfulness, lock away, unawareness, breathing, health, grief, unlived life, trusting, faith, gradual, steadiness, inspiration, diving, stillness, include everything, hindrances, sadness, vortex, kidnap, empowered heedlessness, traumatized on retreats, not say I am wrong, doubt, garbage, backlog, disheartening, mitigating, companionship, community, exercise, diet, devotional practices, dis-empower, anger, fear, rationality, puny, bowing, perfect wisdom, perfect compassion, chanting, aligning with lineage.