(keywords) (slightly edited version) Ajahn Chah, ‘in the dead of the night’, fear, sadness, clarity and confidence, challenged to the core, overwhelm, Dhammapada verse 380, protector, secure abiding, thoroughbred, projecting hope, true identity, self-obsession, confidence, joy, indulging, denying, middle way, dead-end, alternative perspective, just-knowing awareness, misusing mindfulness and concentration, deluded egos, five spiritual faculties, saddha, viriya, sati, samadhi, punnya, faith, energy, mindfulness, collectedness, discernment, unendurable, insurmountable, outshine old habits, fragrance, tactile, amorphous, riveted, motivation, presence, strategies, ‘my awareness,’ no-strategies, control freaks, aliveness.