(keywords) (slightly edited version) Christmas Day, generosity, compassion, healing the leper, blind man, women, children, giving gifts, shortbread, 4 Divine Abidings, empathy, karuna, mudita, Ajahn Chah, excruciating, guilt, fear, self doubt, Wat Nanachat, Varapañño, aloneness, lost, self-obsession, kisa gotami, grief, numb, letting go happens, charnel grounds, brains going to burst, skill, wide of the mark, nervous breakdown, Yuhudi Menuhin, virtuoso, Ravi Shankar, trauma, abandoning our own hearts, faith, friends, outshine dark shadows cast by unawareness.