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Magic Mixing Board
A journey through music history with a persnickety soundboard that chooses the clients. It is Day 28 of Flash Fiction February.
Hello, new follower Erin Rose Latta, Thanks for the follow. Erin writes some poetry about powerful aspects of nature. She’s intrigued by imagination, like me and probably you.
One day left of 29 brand new stories in 29 days. How does that sound?
The Clarendon board was legendary. Some say it had a personality. They said that anyone touching the board would influence the sliders to move on their own, like a Ouija board, but a soundboard.
No one can deny that the most iconic photo in Rock, is of the band The Beast’s Mistress with their fingertips on the board, as though it’s a planchette, on the back cover of their 1976 multi-platinum fourth album, Thallium Stew.
The board has been in many hands over the years. It doesn’t seem to stay put. But no matter where it lands, it makes platinum records. The record setting bubblegumdeathrock had the board for their release of Face the Back Wall in 1985.
Their producer, Herb Melton, checked himself into a psychiatric facility one week into the project. He claims that the board would readjust itself, and he couldn’t lock the sliders. The band stated that they went into the engineering business on their own, and the fact that “Face” broke records in 4 genres was beginner’s luck. They appear to have no complaints about the board at all.
On an interesting side note, bgdr’s lead singer, Nylon, and his wife, Delores, named their son Clarendon.
“ Clarendon has such a stately tone, man.” Nylon said.
Smoking Pestle had the board for the recording of both of their albums, Gas Punk and Poodle Prey. The group hasn’t been seen since the end of their 1999 tour, and these two albums do not see an end in sales.
On the liner notes for the records, the Producer and Engineer are listed simply as “Clarendon.” When asked if the efforts were self-engineered, the response from the band was “Yes, “It seems like it.”
The Crepes, by chance, used the board to do a budget recording of a demo EP they called 5 Miles. Only five songs—the only five songs the all-girl band had written up to that point. Regardless, once it started playing on some college stations, there was an explosion of demand. The rest is history.
“We found this cheap, stinky old storage room to rent for rehearsing, and there was this board under a dusty cover in there. We had no idea what we were doing, except for the fact that we weren’t supposed to be touching that equipment. We kind of figured it out from seeing other people do it, I guess. “Everyone was mad that we used it, but once we got paid, then they got paid, it was OK. It all worked out in the end because, the money, you know.”
There isn’t a lot of demand for a good old-fashioned mixing board any more. Everything is done digitally, and I guess that’s OK for now. The demand for human played instruments, played by humans, will be a nice trade in the future. And these old boards—yep, those too—they’ll make a comeback.
I’m not sure about ol’ Clarendon. Those stately tones are reserved by chance— for the uninitiated.
The End
Platinum Frequencies: The Influence of Clarendon Soundboard in Music History
AI Titles
* The Enigmatic Legacy: Tales of Clarendon Soundboard"
* "Echoes of the Clarendon: Legends of Music's Mysterious Instrument"
* "Resonance of Legends: The Mythos Surrounding the Clarendon Board"
* "Soundwaves and Superstition: Unveiling the Mysteries of Clarendon"
* "The Clarendon Chronicles: An Odyssey Through Music's Uncanny Artifact"
* "Platinum Frequencies: The Influence of Clarendon Soundboard in Music History"
* "Unveiling the Veil: Secrets and Stories Behind Clarendon Soundboard"
* "Touching Tone: The Supernatural Saga of the Clarendon Soundboard"
* "Harmonic Whispers: The Intrigue of Clarendon's Musical Spirit"
* "Beyond the Sliders: Exploring the Otherworldly Aura of Clarendon"
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit commercialherschel.substack.com/subscribe
View all episodes
By Herschel Sterling- Human made stories for your Smartbrain™ to ponder.A journey through music history with a persnickety soundboard that chooses the clients. It is Day 28 of Flash Fiction February.
Hello, new follower Erin Rose Latta, Thanks for the follow. Erin writes some poetry about powerful aspects of nature. She’s intrigued by imagination, like me and probably you.
One day left of 29 brand new stories in 29 days. How does that sound?
The Clarendon board was legendary. Some say it had a personality. They said that anyone touching the board would influence the sliders to move on their own, like a Ouija board, but a soundboard.
No one can deny that the most iconic photo in Rock, is of the band The Beast’s Mistress with their fingertips on the board, as though it’s a planchette, on the back cover of their 1976 multi-platinum fourth album, Thallium Stew.
The board has been in many hands over the years. It doesn’t seem to stay put. But no matter where it lands, it makes platinum records. The record setting bubblegumdeathrock had the board for their release of Face the Back Wall in 1985.
Their producer, Herb Melton, checked himself into a psychiatric facility one week into the project. He claims that the board would readjust itself, and he couldn’t lock the sliders. The band stated that they went into the engineering business on their own, and the fact that “Face” broke records in 4 genres was beginner’s luck. They appear to have no complaints about the board at all.
On an interesting side note, bgdr’s lead singer, Nylon, and his wife, Delores, named their son Clarendon.
“ Clarendon has such a stately tone, man.” Nylon said.
Smoking Pestle had the board for the recording of both of their albums, Gas Punk and Poodle Prey. The group hasn’t been seen since the end of their 1999 tour, and these two albums do not see an end in sales.
On the liner notes for the records, the Producer and Engineer are listed simply as “Clarendon.” When asked if the efforts were self-engineered, the response from the band was “Yes, “It seems like it.”
The Crepes, by chance, used the board to do a budget recording of a demo EP they called 5 Miles. Only five songs—the only five songs the all-girl band had written up to that point. Regardless, once it started playing on some college stations, there was an explosion of demand. The rest is history.
“We found this cheap, stinky old storage room to rent for rehearsing, and there was this board under a dusty cover in there. We had no idea what we were doing, except for the fact that we weren’t supposed to be touching that equipment. We kind of figured it out from seeing other people do it, I guess. “Everyone was mad that we used it, but once we got paid, then they got paid, it was OK. It all worked out in the end because, the money, you know.”
There isn’t a lot of demand for a good old-fashioned mixing board any more. Everything is done digitally, and I guess that’s OK for now. The demand for human played instruments, played by humans, will be a nice trade in the future. And these old boards—yep, those too—they’ll make a comeback.
I’m not sure about ol’ Clarendon. Those stately tones are reserved by chance— for the uninitiated.
The End
Platinum Frequencies: The Influence of Clarendon Soundboard in Music History
AI Titles
* The Enigmatic Legacy: Tales of Clarendon Soundboard"
* "Echoes of the Clarendon: Legends of Music's Mysterious Instrument"
* "Resonance of Legends: The Mythos Surrounding the Clarendon Board"
* "Soundwaves and Superstition: Unveiling the Mysteries of Clarendon"
* "The Clarendon Chronicles: An Odyssey Through Music's Uncanny Artifact"
* "Platinum Frequencies: The Influence of Clarendon Soundboard in Music History"
* "Unveiling the Veil: Secrets and Stories Behind Clarendon Soundboard"
* "Touching Tone: The Supernatural Saga of the Clarendon Soundboard"
* "Harmonic Whispers: The Intrigue of Clarendon's Musical Spirit"
* "Beyond the Sliders: Exploring the Otherworldly Aura of Clarendon"
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit commercialherschel.substack.com/subscribe