Magnetize Your Queen

Nice guy syndrome, earning love, and why women don't trust men who hide their desires. Somatic relationship coach Ryan Spence and I get honest about how he went from timid and friend-zoned to genuinely confident, and what changed.

🔥 FREE: Primal Power, a body-based practice to love yourself like you never learned to

👉 https://anyazelinska.com/primal-powerIn this episode of Magnetize Your Queen:

• Why nice guys get friend-zoned and why women don't feel safe around men who hide their desires

• How trying to earn love by being useful keeps men exhausted•

Real confidence vs. fake-it-till-you-make-it, and how projection and expecting a "no" shape what you get• How a man's honest emotions create safety for women

• "I'm not needy, I'm feeling insecure": the shift that ends self-abandonment

• Why men intellectualize their feelings and how the body gets to the root faster

• Wanting vs. needing, and what happens to repressed desire

• Why being witnessed by a woman can heal what thinking alone can't

⏱ CHAPTERS

0:00 Nice Guy to Confident Man: Ryan's Transformation1:32 Why Men Are Tired of Earning Love2:29 Meet Ryan Spence: Somatic Relationship Coach8:06 Earning Love and the Nice Guy Journey9:05 Not Feeling Lovable: Emotional Eating and the Friend Zone11:05 Losing 130 Pounds and Still Trying to Earn Love12:06 Why Women Don't Trust Nice Guys Who Hide Their Desires13:47 Male Desire Is Valid: Consent, Safety and Confidence14:50 Male Validation: From Seeking Approval to Self-Trust15:29 Free Practice: Primal Power for Men16:19 Confidence Isn't Zero Self-Doubt: Parts Work for Men19:14 Practicing Desire Without Fear of Rejection21:46 Projection: Stop Predicting Her Answer22:39 Expecting a No vs. Real Confidence (Fake It Till You Make It)24:22 Energy and Masculine-Feminine Polarity27:37 Creating Emotional and Physical Safety With Women29:47 Why a Man's Honest Emotions Make Women Feel Safe31:18 Asking Her Out: The No That Healed33:07 Sovereignty: What Men and Women Both Need34:50 "I'm Feeling Insecure": Parts Work in Relationships38:04 Inner Work Isn't Fixing: Loving the Insecure Part41:02 Opening Your Heart: Even Intimacy Coaches Get Terrified43:21 Heartbreak and Playing It Safe: The Cost of Avoidance44:55 Emotional Numbness: Feel More Pain, Feel More Joy47:20 Men Shamed for Emotions: "I Don't Want to See My Man Cry"52:31 Do Men and Women Feel Emotions Differently?54:17 Body vs. Head: Why Somatic Work Works for Men57:14 Self-Abandonment With Avoidant Women59:05 Afraid of Being Needy? "I'm Feeling Insecure"1:00:50 Wanting vs. Needing: Why Men Can't Receive What They Want1:01:54 Repressed Desire and the Shadow1:03:54 Healing by Being Witnessed by a Woman1:08:31 Ryan's Favorite Part of Coaching Women1:09:45 Men, Do the Inner Work1:10:45 What's Next: Deeper Healing Conversations1:12:32 How to Work With Ryan Spence

👤 ABOUT MY GUEST

Ryan Spence is a somatic relationship coach based in Minneapolis who helps people heal anxious attachment and people-pleasing. His own path ran through people-pleasing, anxious attachment, a 130-pound weight loss, and years of trying to earn love by being useful.

🌐 ryanspencecoaching.com

📸 @ryanspencecoaching

📚 MORE FOR MEN

🎓 The Awaken course: https://anyazelinska.com/awaken

▶️ Shadow work playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqGHiO800myCuvb7gPM1ICEPw_gTnBRPe

📸 Instagram: @love_priestess_anya

More and more men are saying they're done with women. Done with dating. Done with relationships that feel like another job. And honestly — the exhaustion is real.But are you really done with women? Or is something deeper going on?In this solo episode, somatic coach Anya Zelinska asks the question no one in the manosphere is asking: what if the real problem isn't women — it's that you've been taught to want so little that the universe keeps serving you exactly that?"All I want is a basic thank you." That sentence is the whole problem. Your desire is so basic that you keep attracting basic. And it's not your fault — it's what you were conditioned to believe you deserve.This episode covers:▸ Why "I'm done with women" is usually exhaustion, not a decision▸ The shadow behind "nothing is ever good enough for women" — where it actually comes from▸ Why men set the bar at bare minimum and then wonder why they don't receive more▸ The difference between projecting unworthiness and the feminine creative drive for newness▸ Why your desire — not your trauma — is the engine of transformation▸ How to start raising the bar on what you actually wantThis is not a lecture. This is not man-bashing. This is a woman who chose to believe in men, sitting with you in the hard stuff.🔥 Free Primal Power practice: https://anyazelinska.com/primal-power👑 Awaken the King Within (6-week somatic course): https://anyazelinska.com/awaken💬 Submit a question or topic: https://forms.gle/peYWMXaLNguuW2pJ8🎬 Shadow Work series: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqGHiO800myCuvb7gPM1ICEPw_gTnBRPe🎙️ Podcast: Magnetize Your Queen — YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts🌐 Website: https://anyazelinska.com📸 Instagram: @love_priestess_anya0:00 Why men are giving up on women and walking away from dating2:05 The male loneliness epidemic is real — I see your exhaustion3:17 Why men and women can't stop fighting each other4:39 You're not done with women. You're exhausted from performing.7:24 Why nothing is ever good enough for women — shadow work explained10:00 How emotional projection destroys relationships for men12:38 Relationship advice for men: her criticism is not about you12:49 The feminine creative energy — the light side of "never enough"17:37 Why men pull away when she needs more — it's not your fault19:38 Self-abandonment in men: stop putting up with what drains you20:32 Desire is the engine of transformation — not trauma22:39 Why men only ask for the bare minimum in relationships25:11 Why men set the bar so low for love and what to do about it27:29 Men are programmed to perform to deserve love28:57 You don't need to earn love — shadow work for men30:25 What do you actually desire that feels scary to claim?32:13 Primal Power — free somatic practice for men33:19 Emotional healing for men who just want peace33:44 A five-year-old Ukrainian's wish for peace#menshealing #relationshipadviceformen #datingadviceformen #shadowworkformen #masculineenergy

Why can't men be vulnerable — and what actually heals it?Most men carry an invisible exhaustion: the pressure to be strong, to never cry, to have it all figured out. And when they can't show what's underneath, it destroys their relationships, their health, and their sense of who they are.In this episode, I sit down with Goddess Gwendoline — a reverence practitioner, aviatrix, and mother — who has spent years holding space for men to surrender. Not to fix them. Not to judge them. But to let them put down the armor for the first time.What we cover:• Why men are exhausted from doing everything "right" — and still being blamed• The shadow work most men never do: surrendering control without losing strength• What reverence actually means (it's not what you think)• How witnessing — not fixing — releases trauma stored in the body• The Wheel of Consent: why men need to learn the difference between giving and receiving• Why humiliation can become an initiation into humility• Gwendoline's journey from the Mormon church to holding sacred space for men• How men can exhale their warrior energy — and why they need toThis is not another "men need to open up" lecture. This is a look at what happens when a man is finally allowed to stop performing — and what he finds on the other side.⸻TIMESTAMPS0:00 — Men are exhausted (and no one lets them show it)2:15 — How Anya & Gwendoline met5:30 — What is reverence? (It's been stolen by religion)9:00 — From the Mormon church to holding sacred space14:30 — The deep inner journey that changed everything18:00 — Why women are also trapped in "palatable" versions22:00 — Clarifying what this work actually is (and what it isn't)26:30 — Why men need a breather from the masculine stereotype31:00 — What happens when men enter subspace (heart rate data)35:00 — The Wheel of Consent: giving vs. receiving39:00 — Humiliation as initiation into humility44:00 — Why witnessing is the only way to release stagnant trauma48:00 — How men can exhale their warrior energy52:00 — What men actually need but can't ask for⸻🔥 Ready to step into your own masculine power? → anyazelinska.com/primal-power ❓ Got a question about relationships, intimacy, or masculinity? Ask Anya → https://forms.gle/peYWMXaLNguuW2pJ8Find Goddess Gwendoline on IG: Goddess_Gwendoline#shadowworkformen #mensmentalhealth #malevulnerability #relationshipadvice #nervoussystemhealing

This episode is about intentional dating — and the question most men are too afraid to ask: am I too broken for love?If you've done the inner work but still find yourself stuck in old patterns — attracting unavailable partners, pulling away when someone real shows up, or numbing out on dating apps — your nervous system might be running the show.In this episode, men's somatic intimacy coach Anya Zelinska breaks down:What intimacy actually is (hint: it's not sex)Why unconditional love can feel threatening to your nervous systemHow your ego protects you from being fully seen — and why it's costing you real connectionA practical dating app strategy for men who want depth, not dopamineHow to get clear on your non-negotiables before you even swipeIf you're ready to stop self-sabotaging and start dating with intention — this one is for you.Time Stamps:0:00 Are You Too Broken for Love? (Intro)1:23 About This Podcast & Your Host Anya2:29 What Intimacy Actually Is (Not What You Think)4:20 Intimacy Is Not Sex — The Real Definition10:51 Eye Gazing: The #1 Tantric Intimacy Practice14:34 What We're Really Looking for in a Relationship19:46 Why Men Ghost Women (The Real Reason)22:26 The Ego & the Terror of Being Seen26:43 How to Know If You're Ready to Date Intentionally30:09 Free Practice: Connect to Your Primal Power31:51 Dating Apps Are Not Designed for Real Connection33:22 Why Men Run From Women Who Actually Love Them33:37 Nervous System & Conditional Love Explained38:31 Intentional Dating App Strategy That Actually Works39:51 How Many Matches You Should Have at One Time40:55 Non-Negotiables: What to Discuss Before Date One43:50 Live Hinge Profile Review (Real Account)44:41 Why You Should Always Write Something When Matching47:32 Dating Profile Photo Rules: What to Post & What to Stop48:29 Stop Hiding Behind Others in Your Photos48:58 Stop Posting Dog & Kid Photos on Dating Apps49:52 How to Show Up as a Sovereign Man on a Dating App51:21 Ask Anya Your Question (How to Submit)52:06 You Don't Owe Anyone Anything — Dating Boundaries52:37 Be Your Most Authentic Self (Closing Thoughts)53:47 Listener Story: Self-Worth & Childhood Wounds57:40 Song by Anya1:00:13 Next Episode: Conscious Kink (Preview)1:01:01 Subscribe & Support the Podcast🎁 Free Somatic Practice → https://www.anyazelinska.com/primal-power 📩 Work with Anya → https://www.anyazelinska.com/the-sovereignSubmit your question: https://forms.gle/shoWTQsTew4Z2nSf9#DatingAdviceForMen #IntentionalDating #FearOfIntimacy #MasculineEnergy #DatingApps2026Many men grapple with intimacy, often ghosting women they like or experiencing burnout from dating apps. As an intimacy coach, I explore why men, even those seeking love, pull away when it gets close. This episode offers dating advice and encourages inner work to foster emotional awareness in relationships.

Why do men suppress their emotions — and what happens when one of them stops?

In this episode, 27-year-old videographer, artist, and tarot reader Nicholas sits down with men's intimacy coach Anya Zelinska for a raw conversation about healthy masculinity, emotional suppression, and what it actually costs to pretend you don't feel. As a Gen Z Black man, Nicholas was told he was "too sensitive" and "too feminine" for having emotions. Instead of shutting down, he went deeper.

If you've been told that being emotional makes you less of a man — this conversation is for you.

🔥 Free somatic practice for men: https://anyazelinska.com/primal-power❓ Submit your questions: https://forms.gle/CmhYoqj6Y2Dd99u78

What we cover:Why men are programmed to suppress emotions from childhoodThe red pill and the manosphere — why it's a fake awakeningBeing called "too feminine" for being empatheticMasculinity as a Black man: the extra layer of expectationsShadow work, Carl Jung, and meeting your own demonsWhy we didn't come here to transcend our humanityLearning to receive as a man and why it's harder than it soundsWhat "providing" actually means beyond money

TIMESTAMPS:00:00 – Preview02:03 – What Is Healthy Masculinity in 2026?07:37 – War, Ayahuasca & the Mother Wound15:35 – How Patriarchy Hurts Men Too21:20 – What It's Like Being a Black Man Today24:33 – Why the Red Pill Is a Fake Awakening26:40 – Men Were Taught to Suppress Emotions33:25 – "My Soul Was Slowly Dying"37:14 – Why Men Became Teddy Bears After #MeToo43:02 – What Men Actually Need in a Relationship49:08 – Gender Identity and Why It Matters56:30 – Called "Too Feminine" for Having Emotions1:00:01 – Shadow Work, Carl Jung & Finding Yourself1:06:28 – Your Inner Demons Are Just Exiled Children1:14:14 – Stop Trying to Ascend. Be Human.1:17:48 – From Suicidal to Bliss: Music Saved His Life1:24:08 – Why Men Can't Receive Love1:33:48 – Providing Isn't Just Money1:36:34 – Closing & How to Find Nicholas

🌐 Website: https://anyazelinska.com📸 Instagram: @love_priestess_anya

About Nicholas:Nicholas is a videographer, artist, and tarot reader specializing in love, career, and life purpose readings.🔮 Instagram: @solarnix📧 [email protected]https://www.tiktok.com/@featherkingdom

#masculinity #menshealing #healthymasculinity #emotionalsuppression #blackmen #genz #redpill #shadowwork #mensmentalhealth #emotionalintelligence #toxicmasculinity #whatwomenwant #positivemasculinity #innerchild #carljung #magnetizeyourqueen #mensselfhelp #maleloneliness

Is all masculinity toxic — or have men just never been shown what healthy masculinity looks like?

I asked men on Instagram why they were so upset with women. Over 1,000 commented. Most of them weren't trolls — they were hurt. So I sat down to actually listen and address what they said. This is a men's intimacy coach reading your comments, your DMs, and your questions — and responding with honesty, not a lecture.

We cover: the "I just want peace" narrative and whether it's sovereignty or a bunker, why good men say they gave up, the nice guy trap and why people-pleasing is a manipulation tactic, why men don't have fewer emotions than women — they were just taught to suppress them, and what women can actually sense when you're hiding your truth.

No manosphere. No man-bashing. Just a woman who chose to listen.

🔥 Free somatic practice for men: https://anyazelinska.com/primal-power❓ Submit your questions: https://forms.gle/seSYMQUCg9x1dQmw9

TIMESTAMPS:00:00 – Is All Masculinity Toxic? What Healthy Masculinity Looks Like01:09 – Why I Didn't Protest "No Kings"02:04 – 1,000 Men Told Me Why They're Angry at Women03:02 – Women Never Listen — So I'm Listening04:05 – What Men Are Really Saying Online04:38 – "I Just Want Peace" — What Men Really Mean06:05 – Why Masculine and Feminine Energy Need Each Other08:06 – What Sovereignty Actually Means for Men13:01 – Why Good Men Give Up on Relationships18:05 – Conditional Love, Nervous System & Trauma Loops23:18 – Why Women Go for Bad Boys Instead of Nice Guys25:02 – The Nice Guy Trap: Why Being "Nice" Repels Women27:43 – What Is a Beta Male? Honest Answer30:46 – People-Pleasing Is a Manipulation Tactic34:10 – Women Can Sense When You're Suppressing Your Truth35:29 – Men Have the Same Emotions as Women — They Were Taught to Hide Them37:01 – I Reserve the Right to Be Wrong39:12 – Is My Dominant Submissive Relationship Toxic?42:01 – What Women Actually Want From Masculine Men44:05 – Why I Filmed This in My Bedroom44:42 – "I Am a Mirror of You"46:06 – Awaken the King Within: New Course for Men48:02 – Online Healing Circle with Josh (Sound Healing)48:35 – Next Episode: Nicholas on Being a Gen Z Black Man

🌐 Website: https://anyazelinska.com📸 Instagram: @love_priestess_anya

#masculinity #toxicmasculinity #healthymasculinity #menshealing #niceguysyndrome #niceguy #whatwomenwant #mensmentalhealth #divinemasculine #positivemasculinity #alphamale #betamale #sovereignty #shadowwork #datingadvice #emotionalsuppression #maleloneliness #magnetizeyourqueen #mensselfhelp

Is masculinity toxic? What do women actually want from a masculine man? If you've done years of inner work but still feel confused about what healthy masculinity in relationships looks like — and whether the love you're looking for actually exists — this conversation will change how you see everything.

🔥 Free somatic practice for men: https://anyazelinska.com/primal-power

Anya Zelinska sits down with sound healer and mentor Joshua Davis on Magnetize Your Queen for a raw, unfiltered conversation about why good men are struggling, what patriarchy actually costs men, and what it really means to be strong without losing your sensitivity. This isn't the manosphere. This isn't man-bashing. This is the conversation men have been waiting for.

What we cover:

• Why masculinity isn't the problem — wounded masculinity is
• What women actually want from masculine men (it's not what you think)
• The relationship as a "third body" — a model you've never heard
• Sovereignty vs. codependency — why your last relationship didn't work
• How to sit with discomfort instead of trying to fix everything
• What healthy masculinity and positive masculinity look like in real life
• Why providing and protecting isn't enough anymore

00:00 – Intro & Why This Podcast Exists

04:18 – Men Are Hurting: The Real Conversation We Need

05:13 – Patriarchy Is Hurting Men Too

06:24 – Men Aren't the Patriarchy. The System Is.

07:04 – Capitalism, Control & What It Costs Men at Home

09:27 – The Patriarchal-Capitalist-Colonialist Matrix

13:04 – It's Not Men vs Women. Who Actually Benefits?

15:14 – Who's Winning the Relationship? (Nobody Should Be)

15:48 – The Relationship as a Third Body

18:43 – Codependency: The Angel with One Wing Story

24:07 – Josh & Sara's Story: Finding Sovereignty Before Marriage

26:20 – The Pressure of Being a "Good Husband"

27:39 – How Codependent Relationships Feed the System

29:20 – Tending the Third Body: Why Weekly Check-ins Matter

30:14 – "I Know How You're Feeling" Is a Form of Control

33:42 – Capital K Kindness

34:40 – It Is Not Your Job to Heal Your Partner

35:04 – Stop Trying to Transcend Your Humanity

37:03 – In a Sovereign Relationship, One Can Soar While the Other Suffers

38:39 – Don't Fix Her. Witness Her. (The Tissue Box Story)

43:35 – When You Need to Leave the Room

44:47 – Men Bypass Their Own Experience to Caretake

45:15 – "Holding a Container" Is Not the Full Truth

54:34 – What Is Healthy Masculinity? Uncharted Territory

55:39 – Strength as Endurance: Sitting in Discomfort

58:42 – We Need Strong Men to Unwind Generational Trauma

59:22 – Providing Financially Doesn't Absolve the Deeper Work

1:00:01 – Providing & Protecting: Why It's So Controversial

1:02:36 – Josh's Story: Growing Up Small & Building Other Tools

1:06:22 – Building Community as a Masculine Act of Protection

1:09:05 – Structure vs Container: Scaffolding, Not a Snail Shell

1:09:42 – When You're Not Needed, That's a Sign of Success

1:12:11 – The Nuclear Family Was Never the Plan

1:14:28 – Upcoming Events & How to Work with Josh

1:17:19 – Closing & Gratitude

Upcoming Online Gathering: https://www.anyazelinska.com/events🌐 Website: https://anyazelinska.com

📸 Instagram: @love_priestess_anya

About Josh:Joshua Davis is a sound healer, mentor, mediator, and musician offering immersive sound healing sessions online and in person.🔊 Josh's Sound Healing Sessions: https://www.futureselfhealingarts.com/soundhealing

#masculinity #toxicmasculinity #healthymasculinity #divinemasculine #menshealing #shadowwork #sovereignty #whatwomenwant #consciousrelationships #positivemasculinity #magnetizeyourqueen #codependency #mensmentalhealth

What if the bravest thing a warrior can do isn't fight - it's soften?This is my first solo episode about masculinity, healing, and what it actually means to be a King in 2026.I'm not a guru. I'm a single mother with dishes in the sink who had no idea if she set up the equipment correctly. But I'm passionate about healing the rift between masculine and feminine.In this episode:

• Why men healing only with men keeps us drifting apart
• What patriarchy actually is (hint: it's not men)
• The difference between boys drowning in darkness and true Kings
• What defending Ukraine taught me about the warrior archetype
• Why opening your heart is the most courageous act - and why it will hurt
• The Light Warrior: using your sword of discernment to cut away the bullshit
• Personal sovereignty and what it really means to be whole

I never heard "I love you" growing up. Now I'm a love priestess. If that transformation is possible, so is yours.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━🔥 Work with me: https://anyazelinska.com🎁 Free practice: https://anyazelinska.com/primal-power🎟️ Circles + events: https://anyazelinska.com/events📸 Instagram:   / love_priestess_anya  ❓ Submit questions: https://forms.gle/CmhYoqj6Y2Dd99u78━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━#masculinity #menscoaching #divinemasculine #menshealing #shadowwork #warrior #lightwarrior #kingsenergy #intimacy #vulnerability #consciousrelationships #sovereignty #relationshipadvice #datingadviceformen #mensmentalhealth

Are you a man who's done the inner work but still feels like something's missing?This podcast is for you. The LionHeart who's done the therapy, read the books, sat in the men's circles—and is still searching for love that actually meets him.I'm Anya, a men's intimacy coach. I had every reason to give up on men. Decades of abuse. A divorce while raising a daughter alone in a foreign country. But I refused to believe all men are the same. I went looking for proof—and I found it.Now I sit across from men who are doing the real healing work. We talk about desire, shadow, masculinity, loneliness, and what it actually takes to magnetize a Queen who meets you at your frequency.No fluff. No man-bashing. No spiritual bypassing. Just truth.Subscribe. First episodes dropping soon.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━🔥 Work with me: https://anyazelinska.com🎁 Free practice: https://anyazelinska.com/primal-power📸 Instagram:   / love_priestess_anya  ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━#menscoaching #masculinity #intimacycoach #divinemasculine #divinefeminine #shadowwork #relationshipadvice #datingadviceformen #healingjourney #mensmentalhealth #tantra #podcast #magnetizeyourqueen