Welcome to the holiday season. With Halloween behind us, and Costco selling Christmas trees, it’s important to think about doing something for yourself during the holidays: Networking.

The holidays are the perfect time to network. There are plenty of opportunities for parties and meetups, uber amounts of people getting together in one place, and everyone feels generous and wants to help out. The table is set. 

The challenge is that most people don’t like networking. They don’t like it because it tends to be anxiety-inducing and a massive chore. However, with a recession looming and the need for solid relationships growing, people can skip networking at their peril. What is refreshing, though, is that networking can be simple if we think about it in the right way. 

People make two big mistakes when networking - which is what’s driving the anxiety. First, people wait to network until they need something. Second, they try to sell to the people standing in front of them. 

Network on a High

Your network is about relationships, and building good, long-term ones. To hold off networking until you need something doesn’t allow you to build the relationship equity you need in order to have someone help you. Those networking when it’s “too late,” (lost a job, need new clients) give off a desperation air that will make potential contacts uncomfortable.

Much of the advice you get when trying to learn how to network is that you should do so with confidence. Much easier said than done. But when you think about it, we are most confident when things are going well. That makes it the perfect time to meet new people. It gives us the best reflection of ourselves, and gives other people the confidence to refer you for a job or new client.

Don’t Sell to the People In Front of You

The other big mistake people make is trying to sell to the people in front of them, or ignoring people that don’t fit their “sales mode.” It’s extremely short-sighted. If a sale comes up in the moment - that’s fine, great, added bonus. But the real focus of adding someone to your network is to meet the people that they know. 

I met a liquor salesperson at a networking event once. We chatted briefly, and he cut it short because “he couldn’t sell to an executive coach” and went looking for a potential sale. But if we had continued the conversation, he would have known that I know more than a few bar owners, and have lots of friends and relatives in the liquor distribution business (that means bartender, FYI). I’m Irish in New York, for the sake of Pete.

Everyone knows at least a thousand people. And for each person you add to your list, they know a thousand people. So if you met five new people at a networking event, they could potentially introduce you to five thousand people. Those are the people you want to meet and sell to, and it makes it much easier when you have an introduction. 

We put too much pressure on ourselves when we network. I found it cathartic when all of this started to make sense - that I can now go into a networking event with no pressure; just the desire to meet new people and learn about what they are looking for. I’m happy to make introductions when I can, because what good is a network if you can’t use it to help other people?

Next week I’ll be covering how to make an ask of your network … so I’ll put up more then! Have a great week!