Show Notes: Making Friends as a Grown Up

Old School with Michele Vrabel featuring Kristen Strong

In this episode of Old School with Michele Vrabel, Michele sits down with Kristen Strong, author of Desperate Woman Seeks Friends, to discuss the challenges and joys of building meaningful friendships, especially later in life. Kristen shares her personal journey as a military spouse, moving from Oklahoma to various locations, and the lessons she learned about forming connections in new environments. Michele and Kristen explore the emotional complexities of friendship, including rejection, vulnerability, and the importance of intentionality. They also discuss practical tips for making friends and the spiritual perspective of trusting God’s plan in relationships.

Key Topics Discussed

• Kristen’s background as an Air Force wife and her transition from Oklahoma to Ohio

• The challenges of making friends in new places, especially as an adult

• Overcoming rejection and managing expectations in friendships

• The importance of showing up, opening up, and praying up to build connections

• The value of vulnerability and deeper relationships over shallow acquaintances

• Practical tips for fostering friendships, such as inviting people into your home

• The role of faith in navigating loneliness and finding meaningful relationships

Guest Bio

Kristen Strong is the author of Desperate Woman Seeks Friends, a book inspired by her experiences as a military spouse navigating the challenges of forming friendships in new places. Originally from Oklahoma, Kristen now lives in Colorado Springs, Colorado, with her husband, a retired Air Force officer. Through her writing and speaking, she encourages women to pursue authentic connections and trust God’s guidance in their relationships.

Episode Highlights

• Kristen shares how her upbringing in a close-knit Oklahoma community contrasted with the isolation she felt after moving to Ohio as a newlywed.

• Michele reflects on her own experiences with rejection and the difficulty of making friends after her divorce.

• Kristen introduces her three key principles for making friends: Show Up, Open Up, and Pray Up.

• The conversation touches on the emotional intelligence required to handle rejection and the importance of not taking it personally.

• Kristen emphasizes the value of inviting people into your home to foster deeper connections, even with simple gatherings.

• Both women discuss the spiritual aspect of friendship, trusting God to guide them toward the right relationships.

Quotes

• “Making friends is hard because it’s hard, not because there’s anything wrong with me.” — Kristen Strong

• “Sometimes rejection is God’s protection against what’s not in your best interest.” — Kristen Strong, quoting her friend Selena

• “Expectations kill relationships.” — Kristen Strong, referencing Ann Voskamp

• “I want to be what the Lord wants me to be for others and vice versa.” — Michele Vrabel

Resources Mentioned

• Desperate Woman Seeks Friends by Kristen Strong

• How to Get a Date Worth Keeping by Dr. Henry Cloud

• Made for Friendship by Drew Hunter

• The Forge (movie referenced by Michele Vrabel)

Keywords

• Friendship

• Rejection

• Vulnerability

• Military spouse

• Intentionality

• Loneliness

• Faith

• Relationships

• Community

• Emotional intelligence

Chapters

• 00:00 - 01:16 Introduction and Setting the Stage

• 01:16 - 06:11 Kristen’s Journey: From Oklahoma to Military Life

• 06:11 - 09:57 Michele’s Story: Navigating Friendship After Divorce

• 09:57 - 15:34 Practical Tips for Making Friends: Show Up, Open Up, Pray Up

• 15:34 - 23:54 Handling Rejection and Managing Expectations

• 23:54 - 29:15 The Impact of Social Media and Insecurities on Friendships

• 29:15 - 36:54 Top Three Takeaways for Building Meaningful Friendships

• 36:54 - 41:54 The Spiritual Side of Friendship and Final Nuggets of Wisdom

Connect with Kristen:

www.kristenstrong.com

IG:  @kristenstrong

FB:  Kristen Strong – Chasing Blue Skies