Joe, Hannah and Mike look back on a mixed set of Valentine’s Day experiences, as Hannah makes a celebrity friend, Mike makes an elderly enemy and Joe makes Alan Partridge look normal after living in a hotel for too long. There’s also plenty of chat about Frank Lampard’s new-look-Everton and a resurgent Donny van de Beek; we chat Manchester United and the decline of Harry Maguire and Joe gets very, very sad about Spurs (again!). There’s also plenty of waffle about pyjamas and when it’s permissible not to offer people a seat on the tube.

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