Are you anxious and afraid? Do you feel ill-equipped to protect your children when they go out into the world? In today’s episode, Kelly is offering three areas to focus on, especially when tragedies occur. As always, she is full of practical suggestions as well as spiritual insights into the way we can choose to show up, no matter what life throws at us.

“We know there is a God, we know He loves us. We know we can trust him… Ground your kids in that.” - Kelly Shoup

First, Kelly addresses how to maintain your calm, and offers multiple concrete ways to deal with the bodily experience of anxiety. As faith-based people, we are well-equipped to handle crises; we don’t need to respond in a frenzy, like the rest of society. She also encourages parents to speak to their children about tragic events in a calm, neutral way. Secondly, Kelly talks about controlling what you can, and letting go of what you can’t. She encourages parents to be discerning about the narrative entering their homes, and touches on God’s perspective in the midst of evil events. She suggests that living in fear is not really living at all, and encourages parents to practice fully entrusting their children to God’s care. She even has a playful way of teaching children to put on the full armor of God every day before leaving the house. Finally, Kelly is encouraging connection. She explains that when you connect with your children, you can also correct, direct, and influence them. As your children watch their friends’ parents collapse into fear-based decisions, they will look at you to see how you are showing up. Imagine being a parent so fully immersed in God’s love that you can respond with calm, control, and connection towards your family. In this way, you can fully model what it looks like to live a life of trust, grounded in Scripture and truth.

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In this episode, Kelly explores the age-old adage, "Ignorance is bliss," questioning its relevance in parenting. Drawing from her experience as a mother of three teenagers Kelly highlights both the positive and negative connotations of ignorance. She acknowledges that some forms of ignorance, particularly in situations beyond one's control, may lead to a blissful state as unnecessary worry is avoided.

However, Kelly strongly argues against embracing ignorance in parenting, especially when it comes to understanding and addressing children's behaviors and issues. She contends that remaining ignorant can perpetuate parental misery and lead to more significant challenges down the road. Kelly emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing potential issues early on, offering support to parents in navigating the complexities of raising children.

Central to Kelly's approach is her expertise in understanding the sensory system, a key element in human development often overlooked by parents, teachers, and even professionals. She explains that knowledge about the sensory system is crucial for recognizing and addressing behaviors caused by sensory overload. Kelly asserts that connecting with children on a sensory level is fundamental to effective parenting, encouraging parents to understand their child's unique sensory sensitivities.

Towards the end of the episode, Kelly introduces her monthly membership program, providing a safe space for parents to access valuable information, participate in group coaching calls, and receive guidance tailored to their specific situations. She emphasizes the importance of taking small steps and understanding the sensory system as a powerful tool for improving parent-child relationships and creating a more blissful family life.

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In this episode Kelly offers valuable insights and strategies for navigating the challenges of summer parenting. In this discussion, she addresses the commonly dreaded "summer scaries," a phenomenon many mothers experience when contemplating the upcoming months with their kids. Kelly challenges the perception that summer is a source of anxiety, emphasizing the potential for improved health, family well-being, and stronger connections when approached with the right mindset and skill set. Kelly emphasizes two important points to help navigate the “summer scaries”. One, is inviting God’s grace into the situations you are facing and two, maintain good connections with your children.

As a parenting coach, Kelly underscores the importance of connecting with children rather than controlling them, advocating for a relational approach that fosters trust and cooperation. She shares her passion for working with children aged three to eight, emphasizing the significance of building a strong foundation during these formative years. Kelly's unique approach involves integrating God and His grace into parenting, highlighting the role of faith in fostering a more harmonious family life.

Throughout the discussion, Kelly addresses various topics that commonly cause stress for parents during the summer, such as guilt, overwhelm, and the pressure to plan activities for kids. She provides practical advice on handling challenges like boredom, body image issues, play dates, camps, substance abuse concerns, and maintaining academic engagement. Kelly emphasizes the need for flexibility and encourages parents to create an environment that allows for both structure and freedom.

Kelly reassures them that they don't have to face these challenges alone. She invites them to seek the help they need to ensure a successful, enjoyable, and stress-free summer for both parents and children. Kelly's approach is grounded in the belief that embracing the trials of parenting is an invitation to grow towards holiness and heaven, and she is dedicated to helping parents navigate this journey with confidence and trust in their abilities.

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In this episode, Kelly addresses the issue of overwhelm experienced by women, particularly mothers. She emphasizes that she has been assisting numerous overwhelmed moms who feel burdened by various responsibilities and anxieties. She acknowledges the challenges faced by overachiever parents and aims to guide them towards a better approach to parenting.

Kelly's discussion covers several key points. Firstly, she delves into the body-based reasons why women, particularly mothers, tend to experience overwhelm more frequently. She links this phenomenon to hormonal differences, particularly estrogen, and explores the brain's distinct networks and modes of thinking that contribute to overwhelm.

Kelly addresses the prevalent issue of moms comparing themselves negatively with other seemingly perfect parents on social media. She highlights the importance of understanding one's unique parenting challenges and viewing these as opportunities for growth, change, and connection with God. She stresses that discomfort and challenges are part of the parenting journey, designed to aid personal development and closeness to God.

The episode also explores the scientific aspect of overwhelm, discussing the brain's neural networks, hormonal influence, and gender differences. Kelly highlights that women's brains naturally tend toward diffuse awareness, which can contribute to overwhelm. She explains that while men and women both experience stress, their responses and brain mechanisms differ.

Kelly's advice for combating overwhelm revolves around four strategies. Firstly, she advocates seeking grace and divine assistance to handle the challenges of parenting. Secondly, she emphasizes cultivating self-awareness, understanding one's tendencies, and making conscious choices to avoid overcommitting. Thirdly, she encourages establishing checks and balances by involving others, such as spouses, friends, or even children, to keep one accountable and prevent taking on too much.

Lastly, Kelly promotes the use of body-based techniques to manage overwhelm. Breathing exercises, physical movements, and reflex techniques are highlighted as powerful tools that can be easily incorporated into daily routines. By implementing these strategies, parents can effectively address overwhelm, avoid burnout, and create a more balanced and peaceful parenting experience.

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In this episode, Kelly delves into the impact of labeling children as "sporty" or “not sporty” and advocates for a more open view of sports. Challenging the belief that athleticism solely depends on physical attributes, Kelly underscores the significance of varied perspectives. She encourages parents to nurture their children's overall well-being, recognizing their unique qualities as chosen by God, while guiding them towards a personalized path of sportiness.

Kelly sheds light on the need for parents to release their expectations when it comes to their children's sports activities. Emphasizing that children have distinct preferences and opinions, often differing from their parents, Kelly urges parents to support these individual choices. The episode also underscores the role of modeling sports activity and athleticism for children, regardless of time constraints or personal doubts, fostering a healthier mindset towards physical activity.

Kelly highlights the need for parents to demonstrate the significance of being fit by dedicating even a few minutes a day to physical activity. The episode also discusses the "try-on" phase, where children explore various sports and activities to find their resonance. Kelly emphasizes the need to create a supportive environment for "watcher" children who need to see first and gradually encourage their participation. Ultimately, the message is clear: parents should pay attention to their children's unique preferences, nurturing a wholesome approach to sports and physical activities.

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In this episode, Kelly discusses the common experiences of moms having meltdowns. She emphasizes that moms, like anyone else, can experience moments of overwhelm and frustration. The meltdowns she refers to are moments that occur when the pressure of parenting, combined with various stressors, can lead to emotional releases. It is important to remember that we walk closely with God and invite God’s grace into these moments when they occur.

Kelly highlights several triggers for these meltdowns, ranging from dealing with changes and transitions in routines to the physical toll of not taking care of one's body. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and understanding these triggers in order to manage them effectively. Kelly also underscores the significance of recognizing that moms are human too and are allowed to experience emotions, even in front of their children.

Furthermore, Kelly discusses the impact of major life events, such as milestone celebrations or dangerous situations, which can exacerbate the likelihood of meltdowns. She suggests that having a plan for self-regulation during these moments can be crucial for moms to maintain composure.

Kelly also delves into the concept of "multi-layer meltdowns," where the accumulation of stressors throughout the day can lead to a delayed emotional release, often occurring when a mom is alone or in the car. She highlights the importance of using these instances to model healthy emotional management for children.

Finally, Kelly addresses the significance of combatting isolation and loneliness among moms. She stresses the need for a supportive community of other women, who can provide understanding, connection, and emotional relief. By sharing personal experiences and seeking help from others, moms can navigate their meltdowns with greater self-awareness and a sense of camaraderie.

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Feeling like you are a mom who is always messing up? Kelly understands and takes the opportunity in this episode to go over some of the top mistakes that mothers endure. From leaving God out of the parenting relationship, to the unknown expectations for your spouse, Kelly will bring all these into the discussion.

“All moms make mistakes, and we all usually make the same mistakes.” - Kelly Shoup

In today’s episode, Kelly is talking about the top mistakes that almost every mom makes. But she isn’t telling us how to fix them today: We’re simply slowing down and creating an awareness around these incredibly common and definitely fixable parenting blunders. So give yourself grace, Mama. Even Kelly has struggled with these!

Five of the most common parenting mistakes:

1. We leave God out of our parenting

2. We think our mindset alone can fix everything

3. We have unrealistic expectations around the time it will take to change a habit/routine

4. We have unknown expectations for our husbands

5. We are not using the complete toolbox that God has given us

Aside from these five mistakes, Kelly also explains why you are more easily triggered by your kids, and why it’s good to model healthy apologies for your children. If you’d like more help from Kelly, check out the links below!

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In this episode Kelly pauses from the normal topics of preschool aged children and moves ahead in the timeline to college aged kids. Kelly helps parents understand how to best maintain a healthy relationship with these older children that now have independence, critical thinking and are the stages of choosing their own life.

“We don't actually want to undo all that independence and critical thinking and authenticity… we work so hard to get them to that stage.” - Kelly Shoup

Oh, boy: College. Parents spend years working to raise their child to be independent adults… and then it happens. College freshmen can be particularly attached to their new-found freedom, and today Kelly is helping you handle those moments when the newest adult in your family starts trying to make his independence known over that first Christmas break.

First, Kelly is reassuring you - the level of independence that your freshman is exhibiting is exactly right for his age and stage of life. He’s been living outside of the home for about four months, he’s been doing it well, and he’s trying to maintain his autonomy. Kelly has a few tips for dealing with this unique time in your child’s life:

• Release some control. He’s very protective of his new-found independence this year, and he will defend it.

• Congratulate him! He’s been adulting on his own, and he deserves to be recognized for his efforts and successes.

• Try this question: “How can I love you better?”

• Be willing to compromise on your expectations.

• He might not give you all the info you want - that’s okay.

• Offer support - he’s an adult, but he may still need your help.

Incorporate these tips into this first break with your adult child, and you’ll be laying the groundwork for a fruitful relationship with him for the rest of his adult life.

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Play is important for kids and for parents. Kelly takes this episode to open up the world of play and the role that is plays in the parent-child relationship. She gives practical tips on how to make play better and explain the importance of playing with our children.

“I want your kids to authentically have you play again. No agenda: just to learn and connect with them. This is how your kids trust you.” - Kelly Shoup

Have you tried to play with your kids, and failed miserably? In this episode, Kelly is addressing some of the challenges with play, and why parents tend to feel out of their depth when they begin to engage their children this way. And she’s starting with a very comforting point: you’re not bad at playing. You just haven’t had time to hone the skill. As we became adults, our time to play became shorter, and we got less practice. Relearning how to play may take some time, but trust Kelly - the discomfort is worth the result.

Today, she is offering three tools to help make play easier for parents. First, she’s encouraging moms to shift out of their mindsets and into their hearts. Secondly, think fun: don’t say “time to play!” in the same tone as you say, “pick up your dirty clothes!” And finally: fail forward. It’s okay for all of this to feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. As a little bonus, Kelly is also offering suggestions for group play that both kids and adults will love. You don’t want to miss these gems!

A few housekeeping rules:

• Don’t play a game just to teach them a skill, or manipulate them into doing chores under the guise of play: playtime needs to be pure recreation and trust-building connection.

• Be fully present: put down your phone, and turn off the TV.

• Admit to your kids when you don’t know how to play the game - they’ll love showing you, and you’ll be modeling humility for them.

• Kids do the same thing over and over because they’re either learning something new or they’re comforted by familiarity. Let them do it.

• Be sincere and specific in your compliments - it will build their self-confidence at home, and they will take that into the world.

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Does play sound like a waste of time? Does it sound like work? Do you even know how to play? In today’s episode, Kelly is talking all about play - not only its role in your child’s life, but also the role it has in your own life as an adult, and even what God Himself has to say about play. Today, Kelly is sharing three ways for parents to reconsider play during this holiday season.

“You’re the magic. You’re the secret sauce in that play that they want.” - Kelly Shoup

In the first part of this episode, Kelly is discussing God’s role in play. When God rested on the seventh day, it wasn’t because He was tired - He was being a good parent, and modeling for us what we need to be happy and healthy. Secondly, Kelly is talking about how play is a child’s job: when a child plays, he’s learning. When you observe the way he plays - his limitations, his growing abilities, etc. - you’re learning who your child is now and how he’s changed over the past months. Thirdly, Kelly is encouraging you to play. Show your child what it means to enjoy every age and stage of your life by pursuing your own recreational loves.

Does your child like to sprint across the yard as fast as she can, or would she rather meander and look at bugs? Being with her as she plays can give you insights into who she is that you won’t get any other way. The work you do as a parent to keep the family and home running smoothly is important, but playing with your children allows them to connect with you in the only way that they know how to connect. And if you’re worried that it will take too much time or needs to be intensely active, don’t be: ten minutes of pointing out clouds that look like ice cream cones and turtles can be enough for your child to feel connected with you. So the next time your child tugs on your pant leg, take it as an invitation from God to relax for a few minutes, and go play.

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