so usually we have to be in that fear state a fighter flight or freeze in order to have that heightened awareness of being ready to act without thinking and so it's a higher energy state because the ego has been disabled temporarily and our senses are heightened and it seems like that's full attention and we are called to pay full attention to this moment whereas normally we're not fully paying attention to this moment we're sort of thinking about something else so baiting something else so it's really that attention in the moment that gives us access to that more energy and more able to perceive and I feel that's part of why I can process things holistically a lot of times is because I'm really paying attention i'm not thinking about other stuff and if i was to take a medication it would stop that energy it sort of de energizes that process i wonder i wondered before if antipsychotics partially work by making a person gain weight i gained 50 pounds in two months so gaining weight would make one bigger heavier change one's posture to sort of come down lower as opposed to say going into like a higher energy state of psychosis so it could also be to do with gravity because they don't really understand how it works anyway so it's this laziness of perception this inattention that causes us to form habits because we have to make ourselves into sort of these programmed habits so we can be up in our heads thinking about stuff but if we're actually attentive in the moment we just see an act it's sort of like thinking about how if I wake up in the morning I get up and I have breakfast I don't say okay now I have to go to the bowl and put the cereal in blah blah blah blah blah maybe some people do that but my mind doesn't say anything it's just a knowing ness and then acting that that's what I go and do whereas most people would probably think okay well now it was time I think I should get up now now it was time for breakfast we think that because that's going on that actually is what makes us get up and go but it's just sort of like abstracting and commentary so this commentary in our own voice is what weakens us cuz usually we're saying things that will weaken us and I was thinking about how more information being processed might be felt as fear because normally that's the reflex if we're processing more information we're in fight or flight that's the usual way so I'm almost sensing with my job thing that when I look at that document that's like I sense all the implications and processing more information and it gives me a sensation of so-called anxiety and we don't know how to process more information we don't necessarily know where the information is coming from and I'm wondering if that's why Krishnamurti says we must be free of fear because we're in this attentive state it could be interpreted as fear because we're being attentive and so we must be attentive without fear instead of attentive because we're in the state of fear to really be attentive I thought of a quote if I'm not living according to my heart I'm going to need medication for my brain and I was thinking in terms of the reflex of psychological crisis or distress or psychosis where a person sort of goes around doing all this different behavior for a certain period of time and it's almost like gesturing out that and that's hopefully so people notice but it's also a release of energy because we're in MO it's almost like dissipating the heat and I've experienced a couple of times when I'm coming to the end of the process and I'm in a lot of fear I'm also freezing cold and it's almost like all that energy has been dissipated and now I'm freezing and often I've felt like a homeless person at that point too because I imagine that they're freezing cold and shaking on the street and so we exercise to release toxins but the universe exercises us through this behavioral gestural process to sort of get people to notice that something is happening that's not good and it's not