108. Marija Mikalauskiene: Fear Can Make You Stronger

Marija Mikalauskiene helps people share ideas more effectively and turn their fears into strengths. During the last 7 years she has trained countless business leaders, politicians and conference speakers to find their authentic, unique, powerful speaking style and to unleash their oratory potential on stage. The biggest obstacle in unleashing our full potential is fear. Therefore, Marija focuses on helping people understand their fears and unleash the energy behind it. She is also a coach at one of the world’s leading public speaking organizations “Own the Room”, which enjoys the privilege of working with such leaders as Sheryl Sandberg; Jimmy Wales; Reid Hoffman and many more. This summer Marija walked 850 km on foot, alone, in silence, which gave her inner peace, confidence and a few stories to share.

What fear is

When Marija was at school, she loved reciting poems and participating in rhetoric contests. Once, just two minutes before going to the stage, her teacher told Marija all the things that were wrong with her. That caused a fearful experience that made her to develop fear of speaking, which lasted for many years. But Marija came back years later to overcome it and make a career in public speaking. To Marija, fear is nature’s energy to make us powerful.

Fear can make you stronger

Marija is convinced that fear can make you stronger, and that fear doesn’t mean you’re a coward. Her approach to unleash this power has three elements: physiology, psychology and focus.

1. Physiology

* Shake your body. Just before going to the stage, shake your body. Try this Qi Gong exercise.

* Breathe deeply. We tend to contract our upper body and that causes the breath to become shallow.

* Power pose. Adopt a body posture that will make you feel powerful. Pretend to be courageous until you become one.

2. Psychology

* Redefine what you associate with fear. If you associate fear with your mistakes and failures, you turn all that power against you. Accept fear and redirect this energy.

* Forgive your mistakes. Redefine a mistake into a lesson.

3. Focus

* Mission. Today most of people can’t focus in anything–including your speech–unless the mission is huge and very important for them. People with a strong belief in their mission are less prone to lose focus when speaking.