Genesis 29:15-30

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One of our most delightful and important tasks we undertake as pastors is to prepare couples for the life-long journey of marriage. We take marriage seriously at PBCC and view the preparation process as much more important than the actual wedding ceremony. When I first meet with a couple I tell them that it is my hope that by the end of the process they will have acquired a Biblical framework for negotiating their way through the open sea of marriage. I feel that my task is not merely to teach about marriage idealistically from the formative teachings from the Garden of Eden (that place where are our dreams and longings originate), but also to shape the couple realistically. In the movie Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, a wise Greek father gives advice to his daughter who has just fallen in love with an Italian soldier:

When you fall in love it is a temporary madness;

it erupts like an earthquake, then it subsides;

and when it subsides, your have to work out whether

your roots have become so entwined

it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Love is what is left over,

when being in love has burned away.

Anyone who is married knows it doesn’t take long to wake up from the dream-like world of the honeymoon and discover you married a sinner. Like you, this person has bad breath when they wake up in the morning, they can be moody, non-communicative, bossy, rude, and very defensive about even the smallest idiosyncrasies of their behavior. It also doesn’t take long to discover that your spouse, like you, came into this marriage with dysfunctional baggage from their family of origin, baggage that they appear blind to, but is so obvious to you.

The revelation of these changes can be so dramatic that some may even question the sanctity of the marriage when the person they are now legally married to seems so different than they imagined. This is the critical juncture in marriage when couples must cultivate true covenantal love as opposed to the “easy affection” that drove their courtship. But sadly, when a spouse doesn’t meet expectations, disappointment and resentment can take root and yield a harvest of bitterness that severs hearts and turns love cold, creating the temptation to break the covenant. This predicament isn’t unique to marriage. Anyone can feel trapped by a previous commitment that loses its shine. So the question I want to examine is, “Can we be truly blessed by God if we are seemingly trapped in an unhappy situation, whether it’s a marriage or another commitment?”

No one woke up to the fact that he had in fact married the wrong girl as quickly as Jacob. Can you imagine the initial shock to wake up after your wedding night only to find the bride’s sister in your bed? This betrayal will alter the course of his life forever. Our story has five movements, with Jacob’s marriage to Leah taking center stage.

A Negotiation of betrothal price for Rachel     29:15–19

B Courtship and service for Rachel     29:20

X Marriage to Leah!     29:21–24

A’ Re-negotiation of betrothal price for Rachel   29:25–27

B’ Marriage and additional service for Rachel   29:28–30

I. Betrothal Negotiations for Rachel (29:15–19)

Then Laban said to Jacob, “Because you are my kinsman, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?” (Gen 29:15 esv)

As we saw last week, Laban presents himself as a generous man who is eager to reward his nephew. He invites the energetic Jacob to name his wages, but notice only after his nephew has labored for nothing for the entire month. In contrast to his grandfather Abraham, who found his true “wages” as the gift of God (Gen 15:1), Jacob will painfully find his “wages” as hard won through sweat and deception. “Wages” will define every aspect of his life (marriage, children, and dowry) during his twenty-year stay in Haran (29:15; 30:18, 28, 32, 33; 31: