Talk About It

Marriage Value # 3 - Honesty


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What destroys marriages faster than affairs or financial betrayal? Deception. In this raw episode, we confront Value #3: Radical Honesty (Ephesians 4:25) – and why hiding the truth is the ultimate intimacy killer. Discover why God designed marriage as a "fig-leaf-free zone" and how lies silently suffocate your connection.

You’ll learn:

  • Why deception is the "unforgivable sin" of marriage (it makes forgiveness impossible)
  • The 5 hidden fears driving dishonesty (fear of abandonment, being "known," control, inadequacy, and your own desires)
  • How small lies create doubt tsunamis that reduce communication to "small talk"
  • The critical balance: Honesty WITHOUT love/grace destroys – but honesty WITH them rebuilds
  • The moment deception enters, true relationship ENDS (even if you stay together)

We expose common dishonesty hotspots:
• Hidden feelings • Sexual struggles • Secret spending • Unspoken disappointments • Covering failures

But there’s hope! 6 Practical Ways to Build Trust:

  1. Ban punishment for truth-telling (consequences ≠ shame)
  2. Give "free rein" to verify facts without defensiveness
  3. Gently police each other’s honesty (accountability > accusation)
  4. Heal the fears behind lies (e.g., "I’ll never abandon you like __")
  5. Get external accountability for your own dishonesty
  6. Use discernment (timing matters for hard truths)

Why this transforms marriages:
"Knowing" your spouse deeply is the closest thing to paradise on earth. When you remove the fig leaves, you reclaim God’s design for intimacy. Tune in to learn how total honesty – bathed in grace – becomes your marriage’s unshakeable bedrock.

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Talk About ItBy Pastor Don M Smith

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