Married On The Mic

Rick recently made the comment to Dana that "most wives do their husband's laundry." So do they? Why doesn't Dana do Rick's laundry anymore? She used to. How do you split up the household chores and other stuff that needs to get done? Does it matter who is home more often or who makes more money? What is the "mental load" and why do most women carry it? Do men even know what the "mental load" is? We also talk about the family meeting we had with Rocco and why Dana is having a hard time coming up with podcast ideas.

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We kick off Episode 50 with a review of the Garth Brooks concert we went to in Orlando over the weekend... One of us cried, and we both enjoyed the show. We're both a little skeptical about some of the "impromptu" moments with fans during the show though. Then we talk about our "emotional bank accounts" and how we seem to be taking too many withdrawals without making enough deposits. We welcome your comments, questions, and future topic suggestions.

I said Episode 49 at the beginning... Lost count, this is 50!

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In this episode we talk about the celebrity deaths that have hit us in the feels. Then we discuss I-to-I communication - Initiator to Inquirer. It's a process we have worked on with our marriage therapist for over a year. It involves learning how to bring up things that bother us without blaming or name-calling, and how to be an interested listener instead of rushing to defend ourselves or fight back. Thank you for listening!

If you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you'll remember a few years ago we did an episode and then deleted it less than 24 hours after it was released. This is that episode. We've been busy this week and didn't get a chance to record yet... Rick suggested we re-release the "lost" episode... It's about how to confront a friend. Rick tried to nicely confront a friend about a situation that he wasn't happy about, and it didn't go well. We ended up deleting the episode because it caused some drama... But now it's all in the past so here it is!

In this episode, we do a quick re-cap of Rick's "not a surprise" birthday party. We talk about the things we like to do as a couple and why we're worried about getting back into one of them. We also discuss some past issues we had in our Florida community and why we talked to our therapist about them before we moved back. We also talk about why it's important to not take things personally, both in your marriage and with other people.

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In this episode, Rick and Dana talk about some of their parenting differences and how they've solved these issues. Do you let your child quit an activity or sport if he's not happy? And do you let your kid get a toy every time you go to the store? They also talk about the Christmas gift Rick wasn't completely happy with and whether or not you should be totally honest when a gift isn't quite right. Then they recommend a few helpful books.

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After over a year off, Rick and Dana are back with a new episode. They'll talk about why they moved back to Florida and what they argued over during the moving process. They also talk about the challenges of doing this podcast and why it's taken so long to get back to it... And finally, the surprise party that isn't happening.

In this episode, Rick and Dana talk more about "parts" and the therapist's method of helping people heal from past hurts and traumas. They talk about the example given in the book "You Are The One You've Been Waiting For" about a husband who was experiencing severe anger issues. Then Dana gives an example of how the therapist asked her to talk to her younger self and what that was like. The episode takes a nose-dive into another ridiculous argument over dinner and ice cream... and abruptly ends. Enjoy!

In this episode, Rick and Dana talk about the "repair" session they just had with their marriage counselor. After years of arguing and then just dropping the issues and going back to status quo, they finally had a conversation to make up and resolve a recent disagreement. They also talk more about the "You Are The One You've Been Waiting For" book and explain the 3 projects married couples enter into when their "parts" aren't healed. All three of these projects are inevitably fruitless and end up furthering resentment and hurt. They're so relatable that there's a good chance you've tried one if not all 3 of them.

On a lighter note, they start the episode by explaining why Rick owes Dana a McFlurry and end with Rick talking about why he hasn't worn his wedding ring in a month.

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In this episode, Rick and Dana get serious and talk about some more things they are learning in marriage counseling. Their therapist is using the IFS (Internal Family Systems) psychotherapy model to help them heal and understand what parts of themselves are getting in the way of having a fulfilling relationship. We all have triggers and past hurts, called parts, that we carry with us. When we communicate from those parts, we can lash out in anger, show aggression, or indulge in other unproductive and damaging behaviors. Listen as Rick and Dana talk about their parts and how they are learning to work on themselves and their relationship.

Suggested reading:

You Are the One You've Been Waiting for by Dr. Richard Swartz.

Find Married on the Mic on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at @marriedonthemic.