"The splash, instead of a return to surface calm, stays open and splayed. That open water with risen water all around the fallen place is an open hand and palm that takes in the wounded and the lost."

Mary Tabor - author (Re)Making Love: A Memoir, The Woman Who Never Cooked, Who by Fire, Lifeboat

For this very special episode of Unfixed Interviews, I'm honored to be joined by three of my favorite writers, Alisa Kennedy Jones, Veronika Bond, in a deeply moving conversation with Mary Tabor.

Together, we explore Mary's essay Lifeboat, where she reflects on grieving her son, Benjamin, and the journey of relearning to live through the act of writing. In sharing her story, she found that the responses she received became a line cast across the sea of loss—reaching her in ways simple condolences can't. It's a reminder that sometimes the most meaningful support goes beyond "Sorry for your loss" to a more personal, reflective response that embraces the full complexity of grief.

Mary's essay is an extraordinary work born from her profound gifts as a writer and the deep despair of loss. Through her words, she channels raw, primal hurt into something staggeringly beautiful, creating a lifeline not just for herself, but for all who read it. Her readers have described Lifeboat as a refuge crafted from the very wreckage of language and memory, each sentence woven from every nerve, muscle fiber, blood, and bone. As one reader put it, "If the heart that breaks open contains the whole universe, you are the revealer of the universe, sharing a way to fly our own grief on fires in the sky." Her essay embodies the powerful truth that grief itself can be a lifeboat—a profound, often difficult-to-grasp insight she conveys with both clarity and courage. Mary's work reminds us that allowing pain to buoy us and joining in the shared human experience of loss can indeed become our salvation.

As we navigate the paradoxes of grief, creativity, and connection, the conversation dives into the ocean-like depths of mourning and the buoyancy found in vulnerability. Although Veronika could only join us briefly due to a fickle internet connection, her presence and later reflections are woven into the transcript, adding an essential layer of empathy and insight. This episode is an invitation to sit with us in Mary's lifeboat, where the raw, messy, broken beauty of grief can become a lifeline—as long as we remember to reach across the chasm of pain to pull one another close and befriend the paradoxes of this uncertain life.

Please enjoy this conversation and then head over to Mary's page to read Lifeboat and share with your community.