The Bastards take the Hogwarts Express to the magical world of head transplants, public shitting and raccoon limericks. Hamtackle has us all stare into the pensieve for terrifying tales of Mormonly Obese, the Notorious P.I.G.. The Bastards tempt the Dementors with a discussion about what is worse than death. Finally, Ramtang whips out his wand and casts accio on a tale of a super hero with a Fantastic Foreskin. Yer a Bastard, Harry.