Me, Jesus & my mess

I have always been a hopeless romantic, dreaming of love, companionship, and what it would feel like to be chosen.

But what happens when the desire to be loved begins to shape how we see ourselves and even our relationship with God?

In this episode of Me, Jesus and My Mess, I share my journey through insecurities, romantic expectations, sexual purity, singleness, and the resentment I experienced towards God when my longing for companionship remained unfulfilled.

Could it be that, in searching for romantic love, we are sometimes seeking a love that only God can fully satisfy?

I am still learning to surrender my desires, trust God's heart, and receive His love, even in the middle of my mess.

For years, I unknowingly built my identity on being the "good girl."

The one who got good grades.
The one who made people proud.
The one who didn't disappoint.

So when I thought I had failed academically, it felt like my entire world came crashing down.

I wasn't just grieving a degree.

I was grieving an identity.

In this episode, I share one of the darkest seasons of my life, the lies I believed about my worth, and the gentle way God began reminding me that my identity was never meant to rest on my performance.

If you've ever tied your value to your achievements, your career, your relationships, or other people's approval, I hope this conversation reminds you that there is freedom in discovering who you are in Christ.

In this episode, we dive deep into the story of my salvation. I share how I mistook salvation for self-improvement and how God slowly revealed the state of my heart with grace and patience. I didn’t come to God because I thought I was ‘too far gone.’

I came because I wanted God to improve my life. However, that was His way of drawing me to Him. It was never about motives.

The message is also for anyone who ever thought, "I'm a good person, isn't that good enough?"

For anyone who did all the right things, followed the rules, had good character. For the ones who weren't rebellious and couldn't understand what they needed saving from. That was me.

What i didn't realize then is that good character can never make us right with God. It's not about being good or bad. It never was.

And sometimes, being "good" can hide pride we don't even know we are carrying.

This is a story about pride, identity, and learning the difference between wanting God’s benefits and surrendering control.

Salvation is a gift. Surrender is a journey.

Music:

1. Soft background music intro - Music by Mykola Odnoroh from Pixabay

2. Once again on my knees - Music by David Rodriguez from Pixabay

3. Gods Blessing -Music by Panda Beats from Pixabay

So this episode is very special to me because identity has been something sort of a conundrum for me. I have wrestled with the question, Who am I? for most of my teenage and adulthood years. I am certain I am not the only one. I guess the only reason why I was asking this was because I just wanted to achieve that self fulfilment, to live in the best and truest version of myself. However, God in His infinite wisdom revealed to me that my identity lies in Him. That I am His child. Nevertheless, I'm I content with that identity? Is that enough for me? I know it's not as catchy as being the President of the United States , or even being a famous singer, actor or content creator or a teacher, mother, wife, graduate etc.

Are we willing to die to our worldly desires so we can live in our true identity? Are we willing to lose our lives for Christ's sake to truly find it?

Tune in as we unpack all this and as I share the mess in finding my identity in Christ, how I actually got saved and the beginning of my life as a Christian.

Just wanted to say a quick welcome to this space and give a brief overview of what it's all about.

Really excited to have you here. Be blessed loves. Remember, Jesus loves you and there is nothing you can do that will make him love you less.