People sometimes ask me for advice on how to give speeches. Whenever I'm asked this, I give the same three pieces of advice: Remember that nobody cares what you have to say. Just because I have a nice devar Torah to share, or some story that I find interesting – this doesn't mean that they care about it. My job when giving a speech is to find something to say that's relevant to them , that's interesting to them , that's of value to them . Not what's relevant, interesting, or of value to me . Never, ever, ever, ever speak to an audience that you don't respect. Each and every word should be spoken in a manner that expresses respect for the people you're speaking to. If they feel you're talking down to them, in a condescending way, they won't pay attention to anything you say. Be vulnerable. Be prepared to share stories about yourself that aren't especially flattering. There's a clear common denominator between all three pieces of advice – making the audience feel that you're with them, not above them, that you're not standing and talking to them from a different place, but rather speaking to them as an equal. This, I believe, is the key element of hesed – which is one of the important themes of Parashat Vayera. The story told at the beginning of the parashah , describing how Avraham Avino hosted three angels who appeared to him as weary nomads, provides us with a paradigm of hesed . And we read that after Avraham brought them food and served them, והוא עומד עליהם תחת העץ ויאכלו – he stood with them as they ate in the shade (18:8). This is a critically important part of the story. Avraham didn't just give them food and then get back to his affairs. He stayed with them. He showed them respect. He gave them his full attention. He made it clear that he really and truly cared about them, that they were important to him. The Gemara teaches in Masechet Baba Batra (9b) that one who gives money to a poor person receives six blessings in reward, but המפייסו בדברים – somebody who speaks kindly to a poor person, giving him encouragement and emotional support, receives 11 blessings. A poor person of course needs money – but there's something he needs even more than money, and that is respect and concern, the feeling that somebody truly cares about them and considers them important. Most patients prefer doctors with a good bedside manner than a doctor who's the best in the field – precisely for this reason. They need not just good medical care – but somebody who is really concerned about them, who can provide them emotional support and comfort during this crisis. Moshe Rabbenu was given his name, משה , because Pharaoh's daughter drew him from the water when she found him floating in a basket in the river – כי מן המים משיתיהו (Shemot 2:10). Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch noted that seemingly, Moshe should have been named משוי , which means "drawn" – as he was drawn from the water. But instead, he was called משה , which means not "drawn," but "draw." Rav Hirsch explains that because Moshe was "drawn," because his life was saved through hesed , he was to devote his entire life to "drawing," to saving and helping other people. This is true not only of Moshe Rabbenu, but of every one us. There isn't anybody alive who is not the beneficiary of hesed . We are here only because we had people who took care of us, and so much of the good fortune that we enjoy is because of kindness that people do for us even today. Our family, our friends, our community, our society – we owe so much to so many people, without whom we wouldn't have the blessings that we enjoy. If we understand this, then we will be able to do hesed the right way – as equals, without condescension, and without ego. If we understand that we are dependent on people's hesed , then we will give respect to the people who need our hesed . We will realize that we are all in the same boat, that we all depend on one another, and so we all need to help one another. We will then be able to meet other people where they are, and treat them as equals, giving them the feelings of dignity and self-worth that they so desperately need. Avraham is the paragon of hesed not only because of his generosity, but because הוא עומד עליהם תחת העץ – because he treated his guests as equals, because he came to where they were standing, without arrogance and without feeling more important than them. This is the example of hesed that we must aspire to follow.