I always learn so much when I talk to Melvin Bray, he’s brilliant and kind and resourceful. I ask him to tell us about the COMPOST acronym which helps us determine whether a story is worth telling:  
Confess more than prescribe
Opposing forces in dynamic with each other
Meekness to admit other interpretations
Pose more questions than answers
Others-interestedness
Susceptibility to harm
Tradition as a living word - God is still speaking

Episode 2: Melvin Bray - Composting Toxic Stories

Cindy Wang Brandt helps parents heal from religious trauma, break toxic cycles, and raise children with healthy spirituality and conscious citizenship. She is an author, speakers, conference host committed to helping parents raise kids for a better world. The Parenting Forward podcast features interviews with thought leaders from progressive faith and non-faith spaces, resources to create better practices in parenting and life with children. We believe parenting is revolutionary, that if we change the way we parent, we can change the world. Join us!

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I'm taking a break from podcasting so I can focus on myself, family, and working on my next book. Thank you for your support through the years, and goodbye for now! Links (affiliates included): Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership – https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Parenting Forward, the Book – https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn You Are Revolutionary – https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary ***  EPISODE CREDITS:  If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know I sent you. 

149: Goodbye

Summer is a busy season when you’re in the church. There are lots of family activities going on, childcare to work out, and, of course, VBS.  Because we’re nearing VBS season, I thought it’d be a good time to talk about whether or not you should send your kids to VBS. Even more so, I want to discuss the bigger question of how we can protect our kids from toxic religion. We must learn how to equip our kids to navigate the world of faith and thought beyond our homes and what that may look like in our day-to-day lives. So, in this episode, I’m going to share all of my thoughts on VBS. Tune in to hear an overview of what exactly VBS is, its purpose and goals, and whether or not I think you should send your kids to it.  Show Highlights:  A summary of VBS. The evangelical aspects of VBS. Why I find VBS to be predatory. The genuine and positive aspects of VBS. The nuanced aspects of whether or not you should send your kids to VBS. How to prepare your kids if they are going to VBS. How to soothe your own inner child when your kids start getting involved in church activities. How to help your kids spot religious red flags. How to be a good resource to your kids.    Links (affiliates included): Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

148: Should You Send Your Child to VBS? w/ Cindy Wang Brandt

If you’ve got a child nearing college or already there, this episode is for you.  We’re going to take a critical look at evangelical colleges and universities and analyze the experience they provide our kids. Having attended the evangelical college Wheaton, I have firsthand experience to bring to the table that we’ll discuss throughout today’s show. Joining me is the host of the Chapel Probation podcast, Scott Okamoto. He grew up in a conservative Christian family but began deconstructing when he went away to college. Eventually, he became a professor at an evangelical university and started to clarify his progressive Christian beliefs. This led to him stepping away and becoming a stay-at-home dad.  Tune in to hear my conversation with Scott on the evangelical college experience from each of our unique perspectives.  Show Highlights:  Scott’s background with evangelicalism. Why he stepped down from his job at APU and became a stay-at-home dad. What inspired him to start his podcast. Where I was at in my faith while attending Wheaton. The paradox of the evangelical college experience. The challenges deconstruction brings to parenting. Why we must love our kids well and then trust them to make the right decisions. Advice for parents thinking about sending their kids to an evangelical college. Advice for students attending an evangelical college right now.  Links (affiliates included): Scott Okamoto Website: https://www.rscottokamoto.com Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little  You Are Revolutionary -  https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

147: The Evangelical College Experience w/ Scott Okamoto

Ever been triggered by your child’s behavior? It can feel uncontrollable. No matter how hard we try to hold ourselves back when our child behaves a certain way, it immediately puts us into triggered mode. Jen Lumanlan addressed this in her talk at my recent Parenting is Revolutionary conference. Jen holds an MS in Psychology (Child Development) and is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. She is an amazing reference guide for parents of young kids and shares great parenting advice based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting.  In this episode, I’m sharing a snippet of Jen’s talk from the conference. She shares a little more about her background and experience with parenting triggers and teaches us how to tame these emotions when they come up. This topic is extremely important for parents at this time so tune in to learn from Jen.   Show Highlights:  Where triggered feelings come from. The window of tolerance. Big T trauma and little T trauma. The many different fronts we have to heal on to tame our parenting triggers. How to get more of your daily needs met. How to widen your window of tolerance. Physical habits you can implement to remind yourself to pause. Why it’s important to share our authentic feelings with our children. The different triggers that come with having toddlers, adolescents, and teenagers. What it means to feel flooded.    Links (affiliates included): Jen’s website - https://www.parentingmojo.com/ Parenting is Revolutionary Conference Recordings:  https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2022-sessions Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little  You Are Revolutionary -  https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

146: Taming Your Parenting Triggers w/ Jen Lumanlan

The Parenting is Revolutionary Conference is over! It was an incredible time connecting with other parents and parenting influencers in the online space. I myself learned so much and, though I’m exhausted, I feel so fulfilled by the experience. Throughout many of the sessions of the conference, childhood trauma was discussed. A question popped up over and over in my mind: if our parents had had the resources we have today and access to information on mental health and validating emotions, would we have all had better childhoods? I brought my partner in crime Corey Wayne onto the show this week to discuss this. Corey helps me build and maintain the Parenting Forward Conferences and I truly could not do the work that I do without him. Tune in to hear us analyze our own childhoods and more on religious trauma vs. childhood trauma.   Show Highlights:  How parenting styles are a generational thing. Some background on Corey’s childhood. How he discovered his wounds were mainly childhood trauma, not religious trauma. How Corey has mended his relationship with some of his family members. How ending generational trauma is like a wave. How the concept of “breaking toxic cycles” has become combative rather than a means of building community. Why self-compassion is such an important part of healing your inner child. How to balance grief about your past and gratitude that it made you who you are. Some resources Corey loves.    Links (affiliates included): Parenting is Revolutionary Conference Recordings:  https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2022-sessions  Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership  Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt  Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn You Are Revolutionary -  https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary    *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

Episode 2: Melvin Bray - Composting Toxic Stories

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