Toxic masculinity and patriarchal norms start in the home. Men who oppress women in workplaces, churches, taxi ranks and other larger structural environments are likely to have learnt this behaviour from their fathers and sometimes the lack thereof. In this episode, we reflect on how we were raised as men and how some of the principles we learnt about manhood were useful or problematic in the real world, especially as adults. We also speak to young millennial fathers Thami Pooe and Siya Mkhize, who themselves are raising boys and we interrogate the framework from which they’ll use to father their sons.