This episode explores one of my attempts to do the 5 WHYs with a very difficult question.

It gets to a small root of a larger tree about why I believe I was a mistake, unwanted, unloved, and needing to end it all.

This also exposes the child-like idea that ending myself will make the people in question love me again because I am not a burden to them. I will give them what they always wanted.

Except I have already given those people what they wanted and they still have no love for me. 

Again, a childish view.

If you have any thoughts like this, please go see someone and get help. You don't have to face this alone, nor do you have to feel like you are a burden to anyone you work or live with.