Holmes: That’s it… Fuck all squared… Lost on the streets…. Walking… Hours… All night… Because Holmes; is alone. Gerbil: Tick tock tick tock Tarquin! Time to return! Holmes: You! Gerbil: He is Das Ich, you are Das Es, I am Das Uber Ich! Holmes: Where were you when you were needed? Gerbil: You must go back, take the blame, take the shame. It is who you are! Save your friend! Holmes: From what? He’s not my friend anymore. He’s a user! He’s got ‘Black Velvet Man’ now! Gerbil: Take the blame, take the shame. Retuuuurn! Holmes: I trusted you to get me out of these situations. I did what you wanted. I followed you. Why were you gone? I’m getting suspicious now. Gerbil: Everything will be all right. Holmes: You weren’t there when HE was around… Gerbil: Don’t think! Do! Holmes: Tomathy too, he wasn’t himself… Gerbil: Tick tock Tarquin! Holmes: Who is Tarquin? Is he me? What am I? Am I mad-in-the-head? I don’t know anymore. Sure I never did. But I can’t stay alone forever… I’m here for a reason! Gerbil: We have work to dooooo! Holmes: Yeah! Tomathy disowned me. But it wasn’t him. He was under the influence of his monkey balls or something, something… Like some evil… Gerbil: Stop thinking! Start doing! You are das ES! Instinct-no-think, instinct-no think! Holmes: Hang on! Sure if I’m the ‘instinct’; that means I do what I want. Tomathy’s the ‘Das Ich’ and he does, what then? Gerbil: He controls you… Regulates you… Holmes: He controls me?? AKSKSKSH! Sure I controlled him! I took all the blame! I took all the shame! He was the one doing what HE wanted! Getting naked! Eating vomit! I had to jump in to save him! To eat his shit to take away his shame! For he was supposed to be refined, and, and gentle, a soft soul and a true- and he fuckin’ turned on me! He betrayed me! He, he defriended me! Gerbil: You must take back control, to give him back his control… over you… Holmes: Ah here… I’m lost! I was ‘instinct’ but then I lost it… Tomathy took it, as he was ‘control’, but as he took ‘control’ he gained ‘instinct’ and shit on the table… and then, so… uh, and you in the box, you’re the wha now? Gerbil: I am Das Über Ich! Holmes: I see… So like, the ‘ich’ means Tomathy, so should be ‘control’ as you said, and, so you’re like ‘above the controller’… you’re like; The Total Controller??! Gerbil: YESSSSS! Nyyessss! Tick tock tick tock! Holmes: I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m going to find out! I’ll do it for Tomathy and then he’ll take me back. I’ll go and find this Psycho Freud fella! He’ll know won’t he? Gerbil: NOOOOO! Cancer-jaw cancer-jaw! You are wasting time! Return! Return! (HORSE & CART) Tomathy: (STERN) Holmes! Holmes: Tomathy! Gerbil: Losing controoool! Holmes: You see! It’s Tomathy! Tomathy: Get in! Holmes: Aksksksh! I knew you’d come looking for me! Tomathy: Be quiet. I’m doing this against my better judgement. Even Richard Murphyarty advised me against it. But he doesn’t know! He’s waiting for me at the Hofburg Palace… But it’s near noon now and I arranged this meeting for you… Holmes: (HAPPY) Ah Tomathy! Which you is it? Have you snapped out of it yet? Tomathy: I’m more concerned that the genius Freud in his frail health has made time to meet you and it would insult him not to show up. And this is the last thing I will ever do for you Holmes. Holmes: But… wait… If, if he fixes me… We can- Tomathy: Beastly behaviour- Holmes: Uh, we could take the train home together? Tomathy: I can’t save you, you’re on your own. Holmes: But Tomathy- Tomathy: Don’t forget your breadbox. You’ve forgotten everything else- Holmes: Not snapped out of it yet then… Tomathy: Manners, civility, decorum, one’s place in ‘the great chain of being’. I mean, look at this box… (OPEN BOX) Holmes: Don’t open that! (Box opened) Tomathy: See? See? Nothing inside! You see? Nothing! It’s all you Holmes. Mad in the head! Mad in the head! Holmes: I shouldn’t leave you Tomathy, (shuts box) you’re not safe! I have to save you. Tomathy: Goodbye Holmes. Holmes: Well that was fuckin’ hostile… (HORSE & CART DEPART) (OPENS BOX) Nothing in here no? Gerbil: ARGGGH! YOU FOOL YOU FOOL! WRONG WAY! We have work to doooo! Holmes: Fuckit! Get back in your box till this is over! Number 17, number 18, ah, Doctor Sigmund Freud. Number 19… Alright so… (KNOCK ON DOOR) Gerbil: ARGGHGHGH! No! No! (BOX RATTLES) Holmes: Shut the fuck up! (DOOR OPENS) Freud:  (CLEARS THROAT) Pffft! Danke… Holmes: Eh no, not you, eh, because, hello. I am here to see you. Freud: Unt Why? Holmes: Em, because, eh, listen, my name is Aubrey Holmes, how are you today? Freud: What do you mean ‘how am I today’. Am I not doing well today? Holmes: Hah? No, excuse me Sigmund Freud, my best friend thinks I am mad-in-the-head and maybe you can help me. Freud: Who told you that? Holmes: Eh, eh, ‘Tomathy Wilson’ did, he phoned you, you agreed to see me! Freud: Oh ja ja, I see. Holmes: Can I fuckin’ come in? Freud: Well, cough, of course. (HOFBURG PALACE - 1) Tomathy: Sorry I’m late Richard. Murphyarty: Not at all. I’ve reserved us the best seat in the house. Tomathy: I have an admission to make… I found Aubrey and took him to see Doctor Freud. That’s why I’m- Murphyarty: (cape waft) Did you now? Why did you do that? You know what we spoke about. Tomathy: He needs help! I brought him here for that very reason! I know Doctor Freud can help him. Murphyarty: Ha! Poor Mr. Holmes may consume Freud with his affliction! All that trouble for nothing. It is not so difficult to deconstruct your former friend, Tomathy. Tomathy: What do you mean? Murphyarty: Centuries ago, people like ‘Holmes’, people who ‘heard’ or ‘saw’ things that no one else could, were venerated as messengers of God, glorified as mystics or feared for possessing evil forces. Today, the explanation tends toward a physiological brain disturbance, perhaps a chemical defect. Tomathy: Yes! Why Richard, that just might be it! He’s a schizophrenic, right? Murphyarty: (SMILES) Glad you can keep up with the mundane… but no. Although many people with schizophrenia have auditory hallucinations, not all voice-hearers are schizophrenic. Schizophrenia is a diagnosis based on several symptoms that can include paranoia, distorted sense of reality and blunted emotions. Tomathy: So it might not be schizophrenia? Murphyarty: Tomathy, I like you. You are a man of sensibility most of the time so I will educate you. Maybe Mr Holmes has hidden sexual meaning in his hearing voices? Tomathy: Ooh, I say, steady on. He batted a straight wicket all the time I’ve known him, well, until Vienna… Murphyarty: You told me about the operation… in Munich with Doctor Voronoff? You were unconscious… Holmes said you had monkey glands inserted in you and indeed your genital pouch, upon inspection, was quite gargantuan. It could certainly explain your descriptions of heightened but dissociative feelings. Tomathy: I don’t know when it starts or what happened after it ends, if anything happens at all. I just feel out of my body somewhat… Murphyarty: But what if you were ‘taken advantage of’ while upon the slab, by a deviant, who had groomed you for that very moment… Tomathy: Excuse me? You mean ‘buggered by Aubrey’? Murphyarty: Maybe you feel out of body because he strayed inside your body. Tomathy: (Fart) Urrgh! Murphyarty: Studies suggest a biological basis for it. People who hear voices are occasionally plagued by commands to commit violent or regressive acts. Tomathy: No, no, no, Richard, no, I simply refuse to believe that. Murphyarty: Well believe this Tomathy. That operation has changed you, changed your relationship, charged the air with something that Mr Holmes was obliged, almost responsible, to alleviate here in Vienna. Why? Was he guilty? Transferring this by way of taking the fall for your excessive outbursts of depravity? Tomathy: My, my what now? Murphyarty: It was you who spoiled your clothes at the café, it was you who behaved immorally at the opera and it was you who defecated upon the table at Café Central. I was there. I saw everything. Tomathy: What? But you said- oh no… It was me? I did all of th-I can’t remember! Murphyarty: Trauma such as this, can be omitted from the memory for the protection of one’s sanity you see, you’ve simply blocked it out to save yourself. Tomathy: Uugh, you mean, I am a monster?! Murphyarty: Yet here with me now, in these salubrious surroundings, you are at peace. Why is that? Tomathy: Yes, why is that? Murphyarty: The same reason that I said it is not too difficult for me to deconstruct your ‘Mr. Aubrey Holmes’. Tomathy: Why Richard, why? Tell me! Murphyarty: Because I constructed him! And I control you! Tomathy: You eh, what? Em-again please? Mental Holmes III - Oh Vienna! Is an Amplevoicepod HQ audio adventure podcast. The newly reinvigorated Tomathy Wilson has taken Aubrey Holmes to Vienna to seek out famed psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud. But not before they run into old friend Seamus Byrnie working at cáfe Diglas on Strobelgasse. Therein a chance meeting with the mysterious Professor Murphyarty leads them to visit the Wiener Konzerthaus at his behest. In the lobby they meet Austrian Chancellor Ignaz Seipel and all hell breaks loose once seats are taken. Culminating in the worst possible of situations and the fracturing of a friendship. Only Sigmund Freud has the answers. Das Es, Das Ich, Das Uber Ich! Another foley-filled, action-packed, highly-aural adventure from Amplevoicepod.