wandering into the void

mentally ill, academically failing, spiritually buffering


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In this brutally honest and wildly relatable solo episode, the host dives into what it's like trying to survive online school while mentally glitched out and emotionally fried. They talk about juggling schizophrenia, depression, dissociation, and social anxiety—while also pretending to be a “functional” college student. If you’ve ever felt like you’re buffering through life, half-human, half-error message, this one hits home.

You’ll hear chaotic thoughts on lectures, dissociation during Zoom calls, unwashed planners, planner stickers, and why squirrels have life more figured out than most people. It’s vulnerable, weird, funny, sad, and surprisingly hopeful in that “I’m still here, even if I don’t know why” kinda way. Great for students, mentally ill creatives, and anyone who’s had an existential crisis at 3AM while watching a lecture they forgot to finish.

Topics Covered (for SEO + indexing):

  • Mental health in online college

  • Living with schizophrenia, depression, DID, and social anxiety

  • College burnout and existential fatigue

  • Online learning vs. in-person classes

  • Feeling disconnected in digital spaces (Zoom/Canvas)

  • Hygiene struggles and executive dysfunction

  • Productivity guilt and planner shame

  • Dissociation during class

  • Feeling invisible in academia

  • Humor as a coping mechanism

  • Buffering brain and attention glitches

  • The difference between meditation and dissociation

  • Trying to measure progress with mental illness

  • The feeling of being “haunted” by your own thoughts

  • Motivation vs. survival mode

  • Wanting to finish anything (college, a vlog, a sandwich)

  • Identity crises in school

  • Comparing yourself to a squirrel eating a Cheeto

  • Wanting to matter—even in the background

  • Feeling like a glitchy NPC in life

  • Hope in hopelessness

  • Functioning while mentally overloaded

  • Pretending to be okay as survival

  • Academic pressure with neurodivergence

  • Internalized failure and educational trauma

  • Crashing, restarting, but still trying

...more
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