MENTORING THAT MATTERS · SHOW NOTES

Companion to Blog Week 3: "What Nobody Tells You About Asking Someone to Mentor You"

The blog gave you the words. This episode gives you the nerve to say them. Ellen turns to Bartimaeus's bold, specific cry for help in Mark 10 to explore what it actually takes to voice an ask out loud — even when the crowd around you suggests you should sit down and be quiet. The episode closes with a short new feature: the first letter in a series called To the Older Sisters, encouraging women further along in faith to say yes when someone asks them to mentor.

"Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more." — Mark 10:48

"'What do you want me to do for you?' Jesus asked him. The blind man said, 'Rabbi, I want to see.'" — Mark 10:51

"Vague answers are easy to give and easy to forget. Specific answers are the ones that actually get met."

Being mentored well isn't passive — it's pursuit. In this solo episode, Ellen turns to Elisha's relentless pursuit of Elijah in 2 Kings 2 to ask a different question than this week's blog: not "how do I behave well as a mentee," but "am I actually asking for enough?" The episode offers four postures for active pursuit — proximity, specific requests, willingness to witness the hard parts, and carrying it forward — plus a picture of what happens when a mentee finally asks for something real instead of settling for polite proximity.

"Elisha said, 'As surely as the LORD lives and as you live, I will not leave you.'" — 2 Kings 2:2

"Elijah said, 'Tell me, what can I do for you before I am taken from you?' 'Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit,' Elisha replied." — 2 Kings 2:9

"Being mentored well isn't about being agreeable and grateful and small. It's about wanting enough, and saying so."

Join the Christian Women Who Mentor | Bridge the Gap community to get matched, ask your questions, and walk this out with support.

Read this week's companion blog post, "What Nobody Tells You About Being Mentored," at ellencastillo.com.

Have a mentoring story of your own? I'd love to feature it in a future episode — email me to share what mentoring has looked like for you, on either side of the relationship. Contact Ellen HERE

MENTORING THAT MATTERS · SHOW NOTES

Episode Summary

Mentoring doesn't run on a curriculum — it runs on presence. In this episode, Ellen steps away from the fears covered in this week's blog post and gets honest about something that doesn't get talked about nearly enough: mentoring costs something real — time, emotional energy, the occasional disappointment — and that cost is exactly the doorway to the kind of closeness you can't get any other way. Grounded in Paul's words to the Thessalonian church, this episode offers four ordinary postures that hold mentoring relationships together over the long haul, plus a picture of what it looks like when the unremarkable Thursdays finally pay off.

"We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us." — 1 Thessalonians 2:8

"The cost is the doorway to the closeness. There isn't a version of this where you get the depth without spending something real to get there."

Have a mentoring story of your own? I'd love to feature it in a future episode — email me to share what mentoring has looked like for you, on either side of the relationship.   Ellen

Mentoring That Matters — Episode 6 (Series Finale) — Show Notes

We're closing out The One-Another Life. Instead of a recap, this episode takes a completely different pass at the series through 1 Corinthians 13:4–8, walking phrase by phrase through how "love is patient... love is kind... bears all things" maps onto everything we've covered these last six weeks — confession, admonishment, burden-bearing, and stirring up. Ellen takes a look at the three most common excuses that keep women from actually living this out. The episode closes with a challenge, a free resource, and a prayer to send the series off well.

John 13:34–35  ·  1 Peter 4:8  ·  1 Corinthians 13:4–8 (primary passage this episode)

31 Days of Loving One Another — a free printable challenge calendar with one small, specific way to love someone every day for a month, pulling from everything covered across the series. This resource is available at the end of this week’s blog post. There are many more resources like this in the Mentor’s Market on Bridge the Gap’s website.

https://www.ellencastillo.com/blog/love-one-another-the-one-command-that-holds-the-whole-series-together

https://www.ellencastillo.com/shop.html

https://www.ellencastillo.com/podcast.html

“A Year of Mentoring” — the 52-week dual-voice mentoring conversation guide, for a mentor and mentee to keep practicing the one-anothers together well beyond this series.

https://www.ellencastillo.com/ellens-books.html

Join the community— come share which day of the 31-day challenge you're on, ask for prayer, and walk this out alongside other women.

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Have a mentoring story of your own? I'd love to feature it in a future episode — reach out through the contact page to share it at https://www.ellencastillo.com

Admonish One Another: What to Do When You Need to Say the Hard Thing

This week we're continuing The One-Another Life series alongside the blog post “Admonish One Another.” Rather than repeating that post, this episode takes us to Proverbs 27:5–6 and Galatians 6:1 to explore what a loving, hard word actually looks like. We walk through three kinds of friends — the Flatterer, the Critic, and the Faithful Friend — and a simple “wash before you wound” self-check for anyone getting ready to say something hard to someone they love. The episode closes with a short prayer and a feature segment from a member of our community.

“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” — Proverbs 27:5–6

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” — Galatians 6:1

“A true friend's wound feels terrible and heals everything.”

Stir Up One-Another to Love and Good Works: How Mentors Light Fires

In week four of The One-Another Life series, Ellen picks up where this week's blog post left off, moving from Hebrews 10:24-25 to a second “stir up” passage in 2 Timothy 1:6 — a different Greek word, anazopyreo, meaning to rekindle or fan a flame back to life. Using the picture of coals that look gray on the outside but still hold heat underneath, she names three common fears that keep mentors from speaking up (being wrong, overstepping, feeding pride) and answers each one. The episode closes with why fanning a flame was always meant to happen in community, not alone.

“Gifts don't usually start as fires. They start as embers gone gray on the outside. Somebody has to crouch down and blow.”

MENTORING THAT MATTERS  |  SHOW NOTES

Confess to One Another

The One-Another Life, Week 3  —   James 5:16

Episode Summary

A companion to this week's blog post. Ellen shares a story from her own life, walks through how to tell real confession apart from venting or gossip, and covers what almost no one talks about: what to actually do in the days after a hard confession, whether you're the one who said it or the one who heard it. She closes with a practical, real-life walkthrough of this week's free download.

Scripture Referenced

James 5:16 — “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

Quote to Remember

Complaining wants a witness. Confession wants a healer.

Resources Mentioned

Guest Interview Request:

If you would like to share your mentoring story, please reach out to Ellen at https://www.ellencastillo.com

Guest Resource: Nancy, Ellen’s friend mentioned in the episode, blogs weekly and offers encouraging devotionals:  https://www.ajoyfulcottage.com You can also find her on Youtube, sharing her passion for cottage living and Jesus:                                                       https://www.youtube.com/@ajoyfulcottage

Questions for Reflection

Share This Episode

If this episode was meaningful to you, share it with the person you'd want to have this conversation with.

Episode 2: Bearing It — What I've Learned About Carrying Someone Else's Weight

Episode Summary:

Key Scripture:

Quote from the Episode:

Resources & Links:

Reflection Questions:

Ellen Castillo launches the first episode of Mentoring That Matters and introduces a multi-month series called The One Another Life, focused on biblical mentoring, discipleship, and women walking through life together instead of alone. The series will explore specific commands, include guests, and aim to help listeners practice community in real relationships.

To join the Bridge The Gap Community Membership and view a video exploring the community aspects mentioned, visit: https://www.ellencastillo.com/membership.html

To read the blog and download the free resource, visit: https://www.ellencastillo.com/blog/you-were-made-for-one-another

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