Jesse Hilsson noticed my presence when I joined the scene. He was the first person to DM with me and, because of his encyclopedic memory, he was able to fill me in. 

Imagine me as Donny, the character Steve Buscemi plays in The Big Lebowski. There was a permanent duh on my face, which the internet concealed, but Jesse could sense it and he reached out.  

I became aware of Caleb through his misanthropic substack, Middle American Literature. Every week a new essay about the same themes: the banality of work, the low level torture of wasting away your hours in a service job. It’s a subtle and gritty portrait that hits the same marks and this repetition, this drudgery, makes the portrait richer.   

Caleb and I became friends and started working together. Caleb and I worked on the piece I read at the Chicago Expat reading together. Caleb also endured a hellish bus ride from Indiana to meet me in Chicago for the reading.   

I’m pretty sure none of this comes across in our conversation. I apologize. I wanted sparkling intimacy, groundbreaking insights, but our combined depressive energy, along with our need to rehash the drama spawned by the last episode,  created a conversation with clipped wings.  

Still, at a muted volume, this episode served up its own grace. Caleb read a  story from his new collection, Novelty, and he did a good job. It’s the first time anyone has read their work on the podcast.   

The Simpsons are big for me right now. This is a Simpsons episode where Lenny & Carl hang out with Selma.  

Relevant links:

Jesse’s Substack -  https://cholorohemoglobin.substack.com  

Caleb’s substack - https://middleamericanliterature.substack.com  

Jesse’s books - https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/22163637.Jesse_Hilson.

Caleb’s books - https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/21528153.Caleb_Caudell