Are you using AI at work — or quietly avoiding it? In this episode of MissPerceived, Leah digs into new research showing that women are about 25% less likely than men to adopt generative AI tools in their jobs. She explains what that means for careers, organizations, and the “brain” of AI itself, and why low female adoption could make AI less accurate for women’s experiences worldwide.

Leah walks through findings from Harvard Business School on global gender gaps in AI use, explores how unsupervised learning means our data is literally training the AI brain, and shows what happens when most of that data comes from men and from rich, English‑speaking countries. She also unpacks the mental load behind women’s hesitation: environmental worries, ethics, stereotypes that say women who use AI are “less competent,” and the pressure to prove your worth without help. Finally, she shares her own experience using AI, why it sometimes feels like “beautiful nonsense,” and asks what kind of future of work we actually want.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction — are you using AI at work?

01:30 Future of Work Lab: automation vs. AI (what’s the difference?)

02:17 Harvard Business School findings: women 25% less likely to use AI tools

04:36 How your data trains the AI brain — and what happens when women are missing

06:56 Global gaps: rich countries, English speakers, and who AI really “sees”

07:30 Career consequences when women don’t adopt AI at the same rate

08:00 Organizational losses when only some workers use AI

08:50 Environmental and ethical worries as part of women’s mental load

09:16 Code for Good Now study: women seen as less competent when they use AI

11:45 Occupational sorting: why some jobs see more AI than others

12:30 Leah’s own experience: when AI makes her brain “lazy”

13:51 Generational differences: Millennials, Gen Z, Gen Alpha and tech skepticism

14:30 What kind of future of work do we actually want — and who gets to shape it?

Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When someone you love gets a cancer diagnosis, you want to say the right thing — but often, what comes out does the opposite. In this very personal episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner steps away from the research for a moment to talk about her own recent diagnosis of breast cancer, and the wildly inappropriate (but often well‑intentioned) things people say in response. She shares the five big “please don’t”s she keeps hearing — plus what actually helps when someone is living through cancer or another serious chronic illness.

This isn’t about shaming anyone. Leah talks about the times she’s said these exact things to friends, why they come from fear and grief, and how we can all do better at holding space, dumping love in instead of out, and making it easier (not harder) for the person at the center of the storm.

Chapters:

00:00 Why this episode is different — Leah’s breast cancer diagnosis

02:28 Don’t tell me about someone else’s cancer story (especially the worst‑case ones)

04:36 Why other people’s stories shift the spotlight away from the person who’s sick

05:30 Don’t ask “what stage is it?” or quiz my screening history

06:59 The hidden message in “when was your last mammogram?”

09:22 When my diagnosis triggers your own fear: sharing your medical history

11:25 “I have a good feeling, you’ll be fine” — why that shuts down real feelings

13:46 Questioning medical advice when you’re not the oncologist

16:03 What actually helps: holding space, listening, asking what’s needed

18:14 Learning to slow down, receive care, and feel the collective love

What to say instead (Leah’s script you can steal):

• “This sucks. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
• “What do you need right now?”
• “How can I help?”
• “You don’t have to respond, but I’m thinking of you and I love you.”
• “I can call anytime — you don’t have to pick up.”

Resources Mentioned:

📘 Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More

🧠 More on the mental load and chronic illness in other MissPerceived episodes

Stay Connected with Leah:

Instagram: @prof.leahruppanner

TikTok: @prof.leahruppanner

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.leahruppanner.com

Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you secretly preparing your kids for downward mobility? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner asks a huge question many parents are quietly wrestling with: is upward mobility dead, and what does that mean for how we raise our children? Drawing on Annette Lareau’s classic research on concerted cultivation and natural growth, Leah unpacks how different parenting styles map onto class, opportunity, and mental load — and why so many parents feel stuck between dreaming big for their kids and just trying to make ends meet.

She explores why upper‑middle‑class parenting can feel like relentless investment and optimization, how working‑class and poor parents create more freedom and magic in kids’ everyday lives, and what newer research shows about what all parents think “good parenting” should look like. Most importantly, she asks whether constantly raising the bar is helping our children, or just burning everyone out in a system no individual family can out‑parent.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction — is upward mobility dead?

01:30 Preparing kids for downward mobility: what parents are saying

02:27 Mental load, money stress, and families who are just making ends meet

03:00 Annette Lareau’s research: concerted cultivation vs. natural growth

04:46 What concerted cultivation looks like in everyday family life

07:04 Natural growth: rules for safety, freedom for play, kids’ worlds without adults

09:30 The upsides and downsides of each parenting style

10:30 Patrick Ishizuka’s studies: what all parents agree is “good parenting”

11:52 Why mothers hold themselves to harsher standards than fathers

13:23 The pressure to invest in everything — and why you can’t out‑parent billionaires

14:11 How to bring more fun, freedom, and lower stakes back into childhood

15:29 What works in your culture and family? Leah wants to hear from you

Resources Mentioned:

📘 Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More

Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if your brain works differently from everyone else’s — and you’re still expected to carry the same invisible load for your family, work, and life? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner explores how neurodivergent folks (ADHD, OCD, bipolar, and beyond) experience the mental load in uniquely complex and often heavier ways. She breaks down the seven stages of the mental load, shows where things get especially hard when you’re prone to rumination, catastrophizing, or forgetting, and explains why social norms demanding perfection make all of this even more overwhelming.

Leah also shares what she’s learned from interviews and from living with a partner who has ADHD, and offers a gentler way forward: more compassion, more curiosity, shared systems, and dropping what doesn’t actually need your brain’s limited energy.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction — neurodiversity and the mental load

01:00 What the mental load really is (beyond a to‑do list)

02:41 When your brain works differently: distraction, rumination, worst‑case thinking

05:03 The seven stages of the mental load: identify, remember, strategize, decide, delegate, execute, monitor

07:24 How ADHD, OCD, and other neurodivergences change each stage

09:41 Social norms that demand perfection — especially from women

11:55 Why this becomes a recipe for disaster (and it’s not your fault)

13:00 Using the Mental Load Audit: what to drop, delegate, and reduce

14:22 Conversations that help: explaining how your brain works to your family

16:00 Compassion, curiosity, and building better systems together

Resources Mentioned:

📘 Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More

🧠 Free Mental Load Assessment — learn your 8 mental load types

Stay Connected with Leah:

Instagram: @prof.leahruppanner

TikTok: @prof.leahruppanner

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://www.leahruppanner.com

Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe NOW: /@missperceivedpodcast

Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most people say care is valuable. They believe childcare workers and home care aides are skilled and that governments and employers should help pay for care. But when you ask them what care actually costs — or what high-quality care really looks like — they are wildly off. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner breaks down a new report from New America's Better Life Lab on what she calls the "care disconnect": the gap between how we feel about care and what we actually know about its price, quality, and impact on families. From US childcare costs and state-to-state differences to aged care, disability, and a Swedish example that will make you want to move tomorrow, Leah shows why we don't understand care until we're in it — and why that has huge consequences for our mental load and our future.

Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever heard the term "lifecrafting"? It comes from a new piece of research out of UCL — and it describes something you might already be doing without knowing it: using your mental energy to deliberately think through the why behind your decisions and craft the life you want over time. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner digs into this fascinating concept, connects it to her own research on the mental load, and then asks the harder question: is lifecrafting actually available to everyone — or is it a privilege reserved for those with the most resources? And why are young people booing at commencement speeches?

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction — what is lifecrafting?

01:00 The UCL research: Frampton, Gould & Cox on lifecrafting and the mental load

01:45 How lifecrafting connects to Leah's "Meta Medicare" mental load type

02:18 Do you lifecraft? And has it gotten harder over time?

03:00 Why we encourage lifecrafting in young people — and why it's now backfiring

03:30 The commencement speech backlash: why students are booing

04:44 Structural forces that crush lifecrafting: inflation, AI, broken care systems

05:30 The gendered problem: women lifecraft for others, men lifecraft for themselves

06:00 Is lifecrafting only possible for the rich?

07:06 Individual agency vs. structural headwinds — a sociology superpower moment

08:00 Conclusion: lifecrafting is unequally distributed by income, gender, and age

09:27 Who is responsible for opening up lifecrafting to all?

10:00 What happens when young people stop seeing a future worth crafting?

11:00 Lifecrafting vs. dream building — how the concepts differ

Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Leah posted one question on Instagram — "What do you hold to a higher standard in your household than anyone else?" — and got 26,000 views and 200 comments. The answer that came through louder than anything else? The clutter. The piles. The stuff that just sits there while everyone walks past it pretending it doesn't exist. In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner unpacks why household clutter is so emotionally activating, why it's a mental load issue hiding in plain sight, and what the research (and your comments) reveal about who's really responsible for making it disappear.

Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A listener emailed Leah with a question straight from the middle of a relationship argument: what's the difference between equality and equity and which one should we actually be striving for? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner breaks down one of sociology's most important distinctions and brings it all the way home, literally. From time-use research and the mental load to leisure time, burnout, and the economy of gratitude, Leah explains why your relationship probably needs both equality and equity, why getting stuck in only one is a trap, and why giving endlessly to everyone else while putting yourself last isn't equity: it's gaslighting yourself.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction — a listener question sparks the episode

01:00 What is equality? Access, time use, and equal divisions of labor

03:00 Time-based equality in relationships — tracking who does what

04:08 Why time as a measure of productivity is becoming less useful in the AI age

06:21 The mental load and equality — what Drained adds to the picture

07:30 What is equity? Giving more to those who need more

08:39 The economy of gratitude — how households naturally use equity

09:30 Why mothers get stuck in the equity mindset and burn out

10:53 Equity without equality is gaslighting — and it needs to stop

11:30 How to undulate between equity and equality in your relationship

12:30 Kate Mangino: relationships balance out over time — but only if you're conscious of it

13:23 Brian Page and Modern Husbands: equal leisure time as a key equality measure

14:30 The beautiful cycle: inequality → equity → equality → repeat

15:29 Share your experience — Leah wants to hear what's working for you

Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do men actually feel guilt — or does it just look different? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah Ruppanner dives into one of her most viral Instagram moments and the research that sparked it: the striking difference between how men and women experience guilt in family life. Drawing on Marianne Cooper's landmark studies, Leah unpacks a concept called "upscaling" — why when life gets uncertain, many mothers respond by raising the bar, seeking control, and comparing themselves to others, all of which leads to more guilt, not less. If you've ever felt like you can't stop optimizing, can't lower your standards, and can't stop looking sideways at what other people are doing — this episode is for you.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction — guilt, Instagram fame, and a viral post

01:00 Do men feel guilt? What the research and the comments say

02:18 How men transition guilt into action — and why breadwinner norms neutralize it

04:35 Why women don't get the same guilt negation — and why that's a problem

05:30 Is guilt even a useful emotion? What it's actually signaling

06:54 Marianne Cooper's research: upscaling vs. downscaling under pressure

08:00 The optimization trap — why highly educated mothers burn through mental load energy

09:16 Three strategies mothers use when upscaling: raise the bar, seek control, compare

11:36 Food, motherhood guilt, and the pressure of home-cooked organic meals

13:00 Why "solely responsible" became the default — and how we got here

14:30 Social media as the ultimate social comparison machine

16:09 What Drained says: good is good enough, and social comparison is the thief of joy

18:27 Guilt as a signal vs. guilt as a trap — and how to tell the difference

Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You were told to lean in. Work harder, say yes, show up, do more — and you'd be rewarded. But what if leaning in actually created a trap? In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah unpacks one of the most important shifts she's hearing about in interviews and research conversations around the world: the lean-in generation has quietly become the leaned-on generation. From office housework to being the unofficial encyclopedia of the workplace, Leah breaks down how women's competence, compliance, and care are being exploited — and what it's going to take to make that invisible labor finally visible.

Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.