you’ve spent years genuflecting to false idols.

Today, you meet the only divine intervention worth swallowing.

This isn’t just kink.

This is the immaculate penetration.

📿 SACRED CURRICULUM 📿

✝️ The 90-Degree Revelation — Why God Herself angles the strap just left of your soul

🚿 Baptism by Enema — "Holy water" stings less than My laugh when you lie about prep

♟️ Chess, Not Checkers — Doggy style is for amateurs; real worshippers take it standing like the cross

🧼 Post-Nut Clarity Comes With Bleach — Even goddesses scrub Their tools (your shame lingers longer)

⚠️ CONFESSIONAL SIDE EFFECTS

— your gym shorts now double as church kneelers

— Psalm 137 plays in your head every time you bend for soap

— That "safeword" you practiced? Sounds suspiciously like "amen" now

👉🏾 Enter the Confessional Booth and Let Pu**y Park the Car

Note: Hail Marys won’t save you—but My aftercare might.

P.S. Free listeners hear the door lock behind them. Paypigs?

they get the keys to the kingdom (and the lube warmer).

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