Hello, Laurence & Lindsay here. We've got a big problem, and we need your help.

If you're listening to this on Spotify, we're asking you to stop, and switch to another podcast player.

As I'm sure most of you know, there's plenty of evidence that Spotify is a terrible company with a long history of exploiting and underpaying artists, but that's only part of why it's so bad.

It's been reported that Spotify's CEO, Daniel Ek, has recently invested millions of Euros of your subscription fees in an AI weaponry company called Helsing. This company has developed an automated target identification system, with the option to keep a human in the loop. In other words, it's machines selecting which humans to kill on the battlefield.

It's also been reported Spotify donated $150,000 to the Trump campaign, and it's recently been running ICE recruitment ads. It is a powerful force for bad.

So here's our problem. Almost half of our total listenership comes from Spotify, and the adverts that we run are how we make our money. If we just pulled our podcasts straight away, that would be a huge financial blow for us.

So we would like to urge you to listen elsewhere, on another podcast player. Lots of people recommend one called Pocket Casts, we've also heard good things about Podcast Addict. In the last month, we've had downloads from about 50 different podcast players, so there are plenty of alternatives.

We've going to take our podcasts off Spotify as soon as it becomes clear that there is a real movement to cancel Spotify subscriptions and move to other platforms, and that movement is growing.

For you, thankfully, this doesn't cost anything. Podcasts are, and will always be, free to listen to on any platform. Like we said, a lot of people seem to like Pocket Casts, and as far as we know, they're not evil. There are also a ton of others to choose from - all very accessible, and all free.

If you've ever enjoyed our podcasts, or you're about to discover them, thank you so much for listening. Let's try and do the right thing.

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Madame Magenta and Bernard are doing a YouTube Livestream THIS TUESDAY 15th July!

Tune in to the ⁠Long Cat Media YouTube Channel⁠ from 6pm-10pm BST (that's UK time).

We're going to be raising money for MAP (Medical Aid for Palestinians) all evening. Please do check out ⁠our JustGiving page⁠, and if you want to submit a question for Magenta in advance of the stream, all you have to do is make a donation and ask your question in the comments box!

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Today we're featuring the award winning fiction podcast How I Died - big thanks to them for sponsoring Mockery Manor. 

How I Died follows a coroner with a secret ability to speak to the dead.

As bodies start piling up in the morgue, coroner and forensic pathologist Jon Spacer uses his ability to talk to the dead to help the local police solve the case-of-the-week, while also tracking down clues about a mysterious serial killer.

It's like an X-Files-y police procedural that's both sinister and smart.

How I Died has received nearly four million downloads over three seasons. The series has over 40 episodes already released and available to listen to, with a new season currently in production.You're about to hear the very first episode from their first season.

You can find and listen to How I Died on any of your favourite podcast platforms. Our thanks to How I Died for sponsoring Mockery Manor!

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Today we would like to introduce a new murder mystery podcast: Who The Fuck Killed My Sister?

Who The Fuck Killed My Sister? follows amateur detective and reluctant true crime celebrity, Quinn. The story picks up a year after her sister's unsolved murder when Quinn finally gets her first big lead, which puts a target on her and everyone close to her. 

The entire 8-episode first season is available to binge right now on all of the usual podcast platforms, and you can find more info on their website whothefkilled.com

Our thanks to Who the Fuck Killed My Sister for their support.

And now, sit back, strap in (if you're driving because you shouldn't drive without doing that) and listen to Who The Fuck Killed My Sister Chapter 1

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The Matty Tapes - Episode 3.

Christmas 1996.

Written by Lindsay Sharman

Directed by Lindsay Sharman & Laurence Owen

Music, Sound Design and Editing by Laurence Owen

Laurence Owen - Matty, Dr Zecker, additional voices

Lindsay Sharman - Margot, Dr Tallow

Beth Eyre - Nurse Debbie

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The Matty Tapes - Episode 2.

Christmas 1991.

Written by Lindsay Sharman

Directed by Lindsay Sharman & Laurence Owen

Music, Sound Design and Editing by Laurence Owen

Laurence Owen - Matty, Jenkins, Dr Zecker, additional voices

Lindsay Sharman - Dr Tallow

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The Matty Tapes - Episode 1.

Christmas 1990.

Written by Lindsay Sharman

Directed by Lindsay Sharman & Laurence Owen

Music, Sound Design and Editing by Laurence Owen

Laurence Owen - Matty, Jenkins, Dr Zecker, additional voices

Lindsay Sharman - Dr Tallow

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It's the second episode of MOCKERY MINIS: TALES FROM THE MANOR.

Mockery Minis is a series of narrated stories that delve into the history and wider lore of Mockery Manor - the theme park, the house, and the land.

The second episode, In Omnia Paratus, transports the listener back to 1932. Teenage shipping heiress Nancy Rose-Dowling follows her trombonist beau to an obscure country club in the middle of nowhere. What was it called... "Something" Manor...?

But it's not long until Nancy catches the eye of the club's enigmatic owner - one Sir Alfred Mockery.

Written and directed by Lindsay Sharman

Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen

Performed by Laurence Owen

Read the Transcripts

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Pledge to support Mockery Manor: The Murder Mystery Game on Kickstarter!

Hello listeners! It's Laurence and Lindsay LongCat here to tell you about our how we're raising funds RIGHT NOW to make “Mockery Manor: the Murder Mystery Game!” 

That's right, we're making a game for you to play at home, based in and around Mockery Manor theme park.

The game is set in 1989, two years after season 3. It's Halloween Spooky Nights, and a staff member has gone missing. It's up to YOU to find out what happened, and hunt down the culprit.

Mockery Manor: the Murder Mystery Game is for one to four players, and has the feel of an escape room – except it's not just one room covered in clues, it's the whole of Mockery Manor theme park! Delivered straight to your living room. (Or lounge for our US listeners)

You'll receive an A4 envelope with over 30 pieces of evidence. This includes ephemera from the park, such as a map, a Khyber Fastpass, postcards, a menu from the Unidentified Frying Objects diner, documents stolen from the office of personnel manager Davina Strangelove, a booklet entitled 'Bette Armstrong's Guide to Deduction', and more! There are puzzles aplenty, and clues that connect to one another to form a bigger picture. 

And of course, there's an audio aspect! The envelope has a QR code that takes you a state-of-the-art 1998 website, where you can find recordings of staff members and guests. Figure out who sounds suspicious, what they might be hiding, and why. 

The 'audio recordings' include a grand finale that you unlock with the correct solution. 

A grand finale that's as thrilling as the climactic scenes of our three seasons.

We really want to make this game. And we can do it if we reach our Kickstarter goal by December the 12th. You can give as little as £1, or you can pledge £20 and receive the game as a reward. 

It all depends on hitting our target - £2300 - by December 12th. So, if you'd like to find out more about the game, and pledge to help make this happen, visit our Kickstarter.

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Long Cat Media presents a new Mockery Manor miniseries...

MOCKERY MINIS: TALES FROM THE MANOR

Mockery Minis is a series of narrated stories that delve into the history and wider lore of Mockery Manor - the theme park, the house, and the land.

The first episode, Misadventure at Mockery Lake, takes the listener back to the notorious UK heatwave of 1976. As with any summer season, the Lakehouse is packed with teenage horndogs, drinking, partying and getting in trouble. What happens when you want to get away from it all? How about a little midnight boating?

Written and directed by Lindsay Sharman

Music, sound design and editing by Laurence Owen

Performed by Laurence Owen

Read the Transcripts

Support Long Cat Media on Ko-fi

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