Inside our theme of love this month, this week we are focusing on the placement of healthy boundaries. An important point as we begin: The only reason we have to discuss boundaries at all in relation to love is because of sin. In a perfect world of unconditional and unselfish love, boundaries are not necessary at all. But in a fallen and broken world, unfortunately, boundaries are required. As we well know, someone can say I love you and then deeply hurt us .. and keep hurting us. Yet we can do the very same, can’t we? Therefore, boundaries are a reality in this life. So with that context in mind, let’s get started:

We must be careful and cautious that placing boundaries in our lives does not build walls. Think of a healthy boundary more like a fence between neighbors. If you move into a home and put up a nice, appropriate wrought iron or slatted wood fence, high enough to create a border and keep pets in, but not high enough that you and your neighbors can’t talk over it, no one is offended. But if you put up an eight-foot concrete wall, well, that’s another matter entirely.

Listen closely to this passage …

Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” I say of the holy people who are in the land, “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.” … Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:1-3, 5-8 NIV)

Did you hear it? … “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.” The boundaries we are talking about this week are not geographical, but physical, emotional, and spiritual. King David was using boundaries in a similar manner. He is counting his blessings and includes the fact that he likes where God has placed the boundaries in his life. Boundaries that both bless and protect him. Part of his spiritual inheritance from God includes proper boundaries.

So, that tells us where our boundaries must also come from … not from pain or revenge or walls around our heart … but from God who knows us and has our best interest in mind at all times.

Choosing to try and protect ourselves on our own terms usually ends up with an emotional wall that just creates more hurt. But when we allow God to lead us, He can provide a way to create a healthy boundary that blesses and protects, just like David referred to.

So, to love in the biblical sense, do you need to tear down a wall and trade it for a boundary? Or maybe for you, there’s been nothing in place and you realize a boundary needs to be installed for your health.

Let’s pray together: “Heavenly Father, I know that walls of protection too often become homemade prison cells. Teach me to create boundaries. Show me how to love the way You love. For myself. For my kids. For those who have hurt me and those who help me. As above, so below.”