🌟 Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight: Lessons in Resilience, Perspective & Growth

This week’s conversation was thoughtful, moving, and quietly powerful, as Derek Arden welcomed back an old friend of the show, leadership coach and lifelong learner David Skinner.

David returned not to speak about nature this time (tempting though that always is), but to explore something just as grounding: perspective, resilience, and what we can learn from seeing the world through very different eyes.

At the heart of the discussion was the book Fall Down Seven Times and Get Up Eight by Naoki Higashida, a writer with severe non-verbal autism. What followed was not a clinical discussion, but a deeply human one.

David explained that what makes Higashida’s work so striking is how recognisable his inner world feels, despite being experienced through an entirely different lens. Free-flowing speech is impossible for him, and communication is slow, deliberate, and exhausting. Yet his thoughts are rich, reflective, and emotionally sophisticated.

Through painstaking effort—initially tracing letters onto a helper’s hand, later using an alphabet grid—Higashida shares his lived experience: anxiety, distraction, meltdowns, obsessions, and a fierce desire to understand himself and be understood by others. What becomes clear very quickly is this: physical or communication impairments should never be confused with cognitive ability.

One of the key themes David highlighted was how easily we impose our own worldview onto others. When behaviour doesn’t match our expectations, we often jump to the wrong conclusions.

A powerful example involved Higashida wanting to thank a helper—but ending up saying, “Have a nice day.” On the surface, it seems inappropriate. But when he explains the chain of associations that led him there, the logic becomes beautifully clear. The issue isn’t understanding—it’s expression.

The lesson? Behaviour always makes sense from the inside. We just don’t always take the time to look.

Higashida loves jigsaws—but not in the way most of us do. He enjoys fitting the pieces together, not completing the picture. In fact, once the puzzle is finished, he turns it over to admire the way the pieces interlock underneath.

To most of us, that seems odd. But as David pointed out, imagine the value of someone like that in a team—someone fascinated by how components fit together, not distracted by the big picture. Difference isn’t a weakness. It’s an asset.

The book’s title itself became a central theme of the evening. For Higashida, success isn’t a shiny destination—it’s precarious, temporary, and built on repeated failure. Growth only happens when we step outside what feels safe.

A poignant example was his determination to eat in unfamiliar restaurants, despite the anxiety it causes. Familiar places feel safer—but staying there forever would mean no growth. His message echoes a truth many of us recognise: comfort can quietly become a cage.

Perhaps the most universal lesson was about self-acceptance. Higashida explains that until he accepted himself, he avoided being seen at all—literally hiding from the world. Acceptance didn’t remove the challenge, but it gave him the courage to face it.

Whether it’s speaking up, appearing on camera, or trying something new, the same rule applies to all of us: accept where you are, then stretch gently forward.

Two reflections closed the conversation beautifully:

“Tomorrow might be indistinguishable from yesterday, but on the far side of tomorrow, our whole future is waiting.”

And perhaps the most powerful reminder of all:

People may talk and behave in peculiar ways, but that should never relegate them to a lesser branch of humanity.

A fitting end to a conversation about kindness, curiosity, and growth.

🎤 Thank you, David, for a generous, thoughtful contribution—and thank you for stepping outside your comfort zone so the rest of us could grow a little too.

👍 If you’re watching on YouTube or listening via The Negotiators Podcast, please like, share, and spread the word. Growth is better when it’s shared.