Moon Shit and Menstrual Calendars: How Judaism Synced Up with Space

📝 Episode Summary:

Strap in for a lunar-laced detour from our usual Bible bashing as we dive headfirst into ancient Israel’s moon obsession, and no, not in a sexy Wiccan way. This isn’t your typical “let’s stare at the stars” moment. We’re talking about how the Jewish calendar was built around the moon’s ass and how fire poles, moon seekers, and period-powered mysticism ended up shaping entire holy festivals. Yeah, it’s weird. Yeah, it’s awesome. Yeah, it’s still being used today.

Your heretical hosts go full-on Moonstruck™—tackling Rosh Chodesh, lunar-solar calendar math, and why the hell every ancient priest wanted to light things on fire every 29.5 days. We drag the patriarchy for taking over women-led rituals, decode why Passover plays leapfrog with Easter, and side-eye the Metonic cycle like it's a Greek bro in a toga trying to do math. And don’t miss the accidental horse murder story (yes, really), plus a spicy sidebar on science hype, dark matter, and whether black holes are just celestial clickbait.

There’s moon lore, menstrual metaphors, and mid-rant math lessons—and somehow, it’s still all vaguely connected to Exodus. Don’t worry, we’ll finish Malachi soon... right after this cosmic pitstop.

👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com

👉 Join our godless rebellion on Discord: discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC

👉 Support the snark on Patreon: patreon.com/sacrilegiousdiscourse

📌 Topics Covered:

• “How fire poles and moon slivers dictated ancient Jewish holidays”
• “Rosh Chodesh: The original women’s retreat (with less yoga, more patriarchy)”
• “Why God told the Israelites to moon-watch as their first command”
• “Leap months, second Adars, and the Metonic cycle math-nerd showdown”
• “Calendrical civil war: Babylonian Jews vs Palestinian Jews, FIGHT!”
• “Moon seekers vs spreadsheet bros: the Sanhedrin loses its chill”
• “Why Passover is always in spring—but never on the same damn date”