Today we Shawshank our way down the amazon river as we escape the THICK THRASHING Verial snake that is 1997’s Anaconda!

This week - we try DESPERATELY to dry our balls off as the most severe case of monkey bite and crotch rot of our LIVES infest our now numb asses as we seek the help from the Oceanographic society of Pandora to plumb the depths of Avatar - The Way of Water (aka Fern Gully 3 - Free Willzyx).

Today we disinfect the site of the orgy that is 1979's Caligula!

Today we lube up as we penetrate the 2004 schlock fest known as Blood Gnome!

This week - we Mouseketeer our way into the 2002 "Britney Spears wants to be a movie star" project called Crossroads!!!

This St. Patrick's Day - we ride the goddamn rainbow and fro pick a pot of gold as we rhyme our way across the 2000 quintuplets sequel Leprechaun in the Hood!!!!

This week - we serenade our way into the haphazard and manipulative romance music video that is Marry Me!!!

Grab your strap on elf ears and bring your hairy foot fetish! Crawl out of your Hobbit holes! Time for adventure as Paul tears apart the 2014 The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies! Special guest burglar Laura Townsend!

This week - we sling rotten pizza at the absolute HORROR SHOW that is Ernest Scared Stupid!

Today we RUB ONE OUT with the 1996 Genie/Shaq (is that Shaq-enie?) sh!t stained single ply napkin splat that is Kazaam!