How anyone watches the movies without reading the books and has any idea what's going on, we'll never know. This week, Cousin Kyle joins us again as we delve into the Order of the Phoenix film. Crookshanks eats a GMO ear; we stan Imelda Staunton; the poor Creeveys get smashed into a terrible child named Nigel; Ron's subplots are totally absent; the twins and Dumbledore are out-of-character assholes; and a "giant snake" plagues Harry's dreams. Plus: Remember how there's a Marauders' Map? USE IT!