I've seen what you're made of from a mile away

No tan on your arms and their made of paste

don't hit the gretch and rode microphone

unless you're a real country one

90 acres and got a stage name

ya aint got a dollar to your fake name

took like two weeks

to sell your soul to the RNC?

Well split pea, hot cheese, twenty-seven bean soup

I know whippersnappers countrier than you

When the news begins and sunday toons stop

they play Texas hold 'em and drop tonka trucks

'ya ought not to pay', then you sang

and AI song: Libertarian Wet Dream

ya had a minimum bar to be bigoted

then you met it, nailed it up n ran with it

so come down to the all-in-one amish

discount store and discount market

cause I'd hate to stay admonished

but if you're so country, come back here ya star

he's here, he's there, he's authentically everywhere

he's on tv, he's on the air

seems country boys always wanna fly south

after promising not to say a thing

so try that in a small town

use your welfare and gourge fudge rounds

and wear a dress outdoors as a man

and stand in the street n deserve respect

cause by my split jeans, tight seems, and button up fit

I never tried to act as country as you did

but if playing pretend were so transparent

you wouldn't end up with 'The Old Men of Richmond'

by my senator house and head of state

if you keep eating shit fed by the plate

you're gonna keep electing politicians

just as fake as the music you listen