Thrill to the description of my DNA test results, and stay on the edge of your seat as I also provide grandiose oratory on Bob Dylan's Nobel prize, Leonard Cohen, Tony Orlando, Casper the friendly ghost, tar and feathers, lefse and lutefisk, astrology, whimsy, turpitude, sushi, Eve, culture wars, old white men, ISIS or ISIL or JIMINEY DING DONG or whatever it's called, women in the kitchen, David Copperfield, Criss Angel, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, Merrill Lynch, our Ethiopian ancestors and A Boy Named Sue.