If you have an ex-partner, have there been times when you have wanted to perhaps make their life a little bit more difficult? Whether it might be with-holding information about whether you have a new partner, not letting them know you’re going to be away with the children, or speaking to them in an unpleasant way? 

Phoebe Wallish of Stepfamilies Australia says the research shows that it’s not how we deal with the kids, it’s that leftover contempt we have for our ex-partner that actually has an impact on the children. She advocates, that whatever your situation, it is important to be reasonable with your ex-partner and provide them with information as appropriate that relates to major changes or activities in your life - such as meeting a new partner, moving house or going away on holidays - and do so before the children do and they hear it from them. 

Whilst it might be the last thing you want to do, it is worth keeping in mind that this person is the father or mother of your children. She says if you can treat your ex respectfully and provide them with information that it would be fair to keep a co-parent across, then things can go a whole lot more smoothly for everyone.

 

Episode Link:

intheblend.com.au/podcast/phoebe-wallish-on-when-a-new-partner-comes-along/

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