Here's the thing: maybe we're not ready for clarity. Maybe we should sit with the confusion for a bit longer.

Why rush through this? Why rush to a point where you know what to do next? Would that be based on anything, on what’s happening NOW? No, it would be based on idealizations about the future.

See, I don't think we've hit rock bottom yet. There’s an order to things, and I’m expecting that before we find clarity, we first hit rock bottom.

With your permission, I'd like to drive us further down towards rock bottom.

Where we are right now, does this feel like fun?

Do you feel light? Creative? Joyful? Optimistic? Hopeful?

Those are the feelings I’d expect if we were at a point where clarity would emerge. There would be creative optimism.

But, right now, I’m feeling heaviness.

I’m assuming it feels the same way to you. I could get all metaphysical about it, but we're part of an interconnected system. So, my feelings will be mirrored somewhere in your feelings.

So, let me be a mirror for a second.

Here’s what I see when I look at you.

You're used to the heaviness

It's comfortable to you, familiar.

You like being overworked.

You like being too busy.

You like having no time.

It gives you a way to externalize your failure.

It reminds you of school

You know that, in school, you could have done better if only you had applied yourself. But, you didn't apply yourself because there was just “too much work” and “too little work ethic”. It’s not your fault.

OK, fine.

But…you like it. You’re comfortable with that role. It’s a familiar, feel-good story. Satisfying, like comfort food.

You even have a familiar script (I’ve heard you recite it more than once) about how lazy you are and how much you disapprove of yourself and how much better things are going to be in the future once you finally get your s**t together.

I see what you’re doing but I'm not buying it.

Your s**t was never together and it never will be.

Your destiny lies elsewhere. You’re not the kind of person who’s going to get their s**t together. I’m sorry to tell you. If it hasn’t happened by now, what are the chances it’s going to happen? Might as well accept it.

(And please, even though I’m right, don't tell me you agree with me. Don't praise my writing. It makes me a little nutty. If you want to make me happy, talk shop with me.)

My offer

If you’d like to have a clarity-seeking conversation about piano, hit me up. No charge. I can't promise clarity and I can't promise I’ll be nice or tell you what you want to hear, but I'll show up and give what I can give. I won't try to sell you anything (unless the conversation goes in that direction organically).

—Michael

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