In a church, the pastor is to be a shepherd to the congregation, a leader and example of Christ like living to the people. But what happens when they fall into sexual sin? The mess of this and the aftermath is painful and upsetting, especially to those who know the pastor personally.
However, remember that you didn’t give your life to your pastor. You gave your life to Jesus. You can trust Jesus who has not been unfaithful to you. Men and women can fall. That’s on them though. It was a person that failed you not God. God is not to blame in this situation. They chose to make that decision themselves.
It still hurts you though. So it’s best to take the necessary time to process your grief and what you have lost in that situation (like trust).
Regardless of what has happened, recognize that they are still human. Many struggle with sexual impurity, especially in the church. They can still be used by God though. They can still love Jesus and Jesus can forgive them. There have been many who have dealt with this and chosen to go back into ministry. Make sure your pastor is getting the necessary help and counseling. Pray for them as well.
Be kind about this and if you have to leave that particular church or process the situation with others, do so. Let yourself heal and don’t harden your heart towards God and the church. The church didn’t betray you, a man (or woman) did. Don’t leave Jesus or the Body of Christ entirely. Use the Spirit of God to give mercy to them (forgive) and grace to yourself.
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Partner Betrayal Trauma ™.
For information on marriage counseling and intensives, go to https://www.drdougweiss.com/counseling/
For a full list of Dr. Doug’s products, go to https://www.drdougweiss.com/store/
You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, www.drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook https://www.facebook.com/drdougweiss/
by phone at 719-278-3708
or through email at
[email protected].