Danielle brings her belated offering to this year’s Winter Bizarre with the 2025 Christmas movie My Secret Santa. While Sam was all in on the idea of it being about a kidnapped Santa Claus, he’s not disappointed to find out it’s actually just Mrs. Doubtfire in a Santa suit. When ex-famous-teen-rock-star-now-quality-control-at-a-cookie-factory, Taylor, finds herself jobless just before the holidays, she has to go to extremes to pay for her daughter’s acceptance to “one of the best” snowboarding camps in the country; rent and food be darned. This camp seems to have zero scholarships, zero entry requirements, and is starting in only days. Good news! If you work at the resort where it’s hosted you get 50% off tuition. Bad news! The only position available is Santa (also a manager position, but let’s pretend there isn’t). What’s a girl to do? Good news! Luckily her brother seems to run a full time costume shop out of his apartment and hooks her up with a very convincing Santa costume. Bad news! The hot guy from her earlier meet-cute in town turns out to be the wayward fail-son of the billionaire owner of the resort. Good news! She gets the job pretending to be Hugh Mann, Santa at Large. Bad news! Her meet-cute gets the manager position because nepotism. As always, shenanigans ensue as Taylor balances her new Santa life with trying to be a mom and love interest. Also, again, an ex-rock star, which is woefully underutilized. Taylor is truly awful as Santa, telling kids to let their Christmas dreams go for more practical gifts like toothbrushes, but is very convincing as Hugh, much to the fail-son’s consternation as he finds himself falling for Taylor and being oddly captivated by Santa himself. Anyway, long story short, after a series of reviews express their dislike of the new Santa (we review Santas?), Taylor changes her ways, taking on both the patriarchal Santa conspiracy and bringing down the elitist billionaire capitalistic horror show we all live in, changing the world, and Christmas, forever. No, just kidding. None of that happens.

Theme: Earning Happiness by John Bartmann.

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