Yesterday, I had a very difficult conversation with my step-father. It was one I had wanted to have for years but was also reluctant to having. My step-father experienced a great amount of abuse as a child and has never fully healed. In this conversation I had with him, I tried to help him see his own reluctance to holding himself accountable for the pain he has caused. It isn't easy or pleasant to confess to your wrongdoings, especially when you revert back to how others have wronged you and default to telling the same story, hoping to be given a break. But it is not someone else's responsibility to deal with your load and relive your trauma because you have not healed. We all deserve support and nurturing, but that can be abused and it isn't fair to expect someone else to accept mistreatment because there's a reason or explanation. It is our responsibility to do better than the wrong that was done to us.