My struggling Prayer

I struggle..

with the cruelty of the world

The uncertainty of the future

The unfairness that exists

The self indulgent nature of people

The expectancy of everyone

To be handed things

To be given what is not earned

To trample on the very nature of my humility

And expect me to release fortune cookies

To disregard the nature of love kindness and understanding

To put forward the interest of revenge and ownership

I struggle

Everyday

To not lose all control

To not shove everyone and anyone down a hole 🕳

The deep darkest hole possible

Away from my ever so vulnerable feelings

Away from my ever patient nature

Away from my heart that beats

The rhythm disrupted by….

The inconsistencies of workers

The incompetence of employees

The demeaning nature of the working class

That refuses to take ownership

That refuses to face up to reality

That refuses to stand up and tall

That refuses to lay in the bed that they have sown

I struggle

Much so often

To Not offend anyone

Not to criticize an individual

For their lack of knowledge

For their lack of passion

For their lack of determination

For their lack of discipline

I struggle

Ever more so slightly

With…

my anger….

My frustration…

My annoyance…

My patience…..

I struggle

With control

Not of the present

Not of the past

Not of the future

But of myself

To not take it personally

To not take it as an attack against my very being

To not feel abused by the very people I am trying to help

Lord help me stand tall

Help me walk the line that you set forth

Help me lift up my head when it all feels heavy

When it all feels hopeless

When it all feel damning

Lord…

help me be a better man

A man of a virtuous nature

A virtuous man

A man after your heart

Provide me with shelter

From the hail storm of life

From The blizzard of the days

From the heat of the midday sun

As I stand not as man

Without God,

But as a human fully focused on the Lord

For guidance

For help

For a friend

For a father

To paraphrase the words of Shadrack, Meshach and Abednego

Even if my God does not save me

I commend my spirit into your hands daily.

For my hope and faith lies in you

For all the days of my life