After solo traveling abroad for 6 months I finally had to come back to my old life. I thought I was ready but little did I know I was about to befriend the darkest part of my mind. I created a life that really fulfilled all my needs in Portgual so coming back I left that life behind and all the major external protective factors that was helping me process what I was going through. I was also highly stimulated and didn't really think about anything that had just happened. Coming back I had no support & it was the first time I had to really acknowledge that my "old life" was no longer there. I felt like I lost all the progress I had made abroad but this part of my journey was just actally meant for me to truly process and release all the hurt and pain within. Coming back to my apt I got with my ex the energy was heavy - feeling his energy in the space, in the bed, I was constantly reminded of what had happened. I began to battle with my own mind. Questioning my exisitance to the point I began to scare myself.

Trigger warmning: I want to be senstive to everyones experience when it comes to this topic. I dive into my thought

process and how I actively leaned into and pull myself out of the darkest part of my mind.

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