SUMMARY

Psychologist Madeline Levine, in her latest book, Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or “Fat Envelopes,” remains a staunch opponent of hyper-parenting. Sadly, while rates of mental illness escalate among kids and teens, parents continue to insert themselves into their children’s levels of performance. Levine, speaking on behalf of children debilitated by such behaviors, urges parents to stop. Just stop! Instead, backed by mounds of data and 30 years of clinical experience, Levine insists parents let kids explore and help them develop a genuine sense of purpose and well-being. Above all, parents need to express confidence and joy in their child’s unique abilities.

KEY POINTS

• Parents who smooth the path to college send a vote of “no confidence” to their kids.
• Research shows that top-level universities only significantly benefit under-resourced students and first-generation immigrants.
• Consider reframing intelligence by asking in what way a child is smart.
• Pay attention to strengths rather than to relative weaknesses.
• Schools send strong messages about what’s important by what they show off in their entries.
• In hiring today, knowing content has gone to the bottom of the list. What matters now is working in a group, being creative, connecting the dots, being extremely curious, and evaluating content.
• Parents need to have the good sense to set boundaries, expectations, and demands.
• A dearth of collective community activities is creating a lonely landscape for parenting.
• Work ameliorates boredom while also giving a child a sense of worth. Set an expectation for contribution.

QUOTES FROM LEVINE

• “We are spending way too much time worried about our children's performance and grades--their heads--and not nearly enough time paying attention to their hearts.”
• “The skill set is changing. It’s not just knowing the right answer; it’s also being able to ask the right question.”
• “The best thing you can do is cultivate your child’s particular talents.”
• “We learn more than we fail than when we succeed.”
• “The implicit value of attending a certain school is no longer a consideration as it once was historically.”
• “Having an involved father is a strong predictor of a child's eventual level of empathy. Optimally, this involvement should begin when children are starting elementary school.”
• “After 30 years of counseling, I believe most parents know in their gut when something is wrong with their kid.”
• “What will make you feel you did your [parenting] job right is having a kind, empathic, creative, interested, curious, open-minded kid. And the rest of it is kind of window dressing.”

BUY Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or "Fat Envelopes"

Click here to request your copy of the Challenge Success white paper. Get even more articles supporting Dr. Levine’s ideas in Teach Your Children Well.

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