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Naked and Afraid… of the EMT
Naked and Afraid… of the EMT
Dispatched & Dysfunctional – Because sometimes the worst calls make the best stories.
Welcome to Dispatched & Dysfunctional — where the darkest moments become stories of resilience. These aren’t polished hero tales. They’re the raw, unfiltered truths of EMS: the calls that scar, the ones that save, and the ones we carry forever.
🚑 Some calls are unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. We walked in expecting something routine — maybe chest pain, maybe a transport. Instead, we were greeted by a naked man, a broomstick, and a situation that shifted from awkward to downright absurd in seconds.
EMS has a way of throwing curveballs. One moment you’re running a trauma arrest, the next you’re trying to figure out how to handle a scene that makes you question whether to laugh, gag, or just walk back outside. This was one of those calls — the kind you can’t believe is real until you see it with your own eyes.
And as ridiculous as it was, buried under the broomsticks and the laughter, there was still a truth: chaos doesn’t always come in the form of blood and broken bones. Sometimes it shows up dressed in absurdity. And our reaction to it — the dark humor, the laughter, the look you share with your partner — is the only thing that gets you through to the next call.
⚠️ CONTENT WARNING: Graphic EMS content, adult humor, and medical discussion. Listener discretion advised.
Why It Matters:
Because even the calls that make us laugh until our ribs hurt still leave a mark. Humor isn’t a luxury in EMS — it’s survival. It’s the release valve that lets us carry the weight of the job without letting it crush us. Every joke hides a truth: chaos is always waiting around the corner, and sometimes the only way we make it to the next shift is by laughing through the pain.
🧠 Need support?
Text or call 988 or visit 988lifeline.org
💬 “I’d rather hear your story than read your eulogy.”
📬 Want to share your story?
Visit critical-run.com or message us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.
📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional
🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent
🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).
⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.
Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.
This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.
Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.
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By Chris StocktonNaked and Afraid… of the EMT
Dispatched & Dysfunctional – Because sometimes the worst calls make the best stories.
Welcome to Dispatched & Dysfunctional — where the darkest moments become stories of resilience. These aren’t polished hero tales. They’re the raw, unfiltered truths of EMS: the calls that scar, the ones that save, and the ones we carry forever.
🚑 Some calls are unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. We walked in expecting something routine — maybe chest pain, maybe a transport. Instead, we were greeted by a naked man, a broomstick, and a situation that shifted from awkward to downright absurd in seconds.
EMS has a way of throwing curveballs. One moment you’re running a trauma arrest, the next you’re trying to figure out how to handle a scene that makes you question whether to laugh, gag, or just walk back outside. This was one of those calls — the kind you can’t believe is real until you see it with your own eyes.
And as ridiculous as it was, buried under the broomsticks and the laughter, there was still a truth: chaos doesn’t always come in the form of blood and broken bones. Sometimes it shows up dressed in absurdity. And our reaction to it — the dark humor, the laughter, the look you share with your partner — is the only thing that gets you through to the next call.
⚠️ CONTENT WARNING: Graphic EMS content, adult humor, and medical discussion. Listener discretion advised.
Why It Matters:
Because even the calls that make us laugh until our ribs hurt still leave a mark. Humor isn’t a luxury in EMS — it’s survival. It’s the release valve that lets us carry the weight of the job without letting it crush us. Every joke hides a truth: chaos is always waiting around the corner, and sometimes the only way we make it to the next shift is by laughing through the pain.
🧠 Need support?
Text or call 988 or visit 988lifeline.org
💬 “I’d rather hear your story than read your eulogy.”
📬 Want to share your story?
Visit critical-run.com or message us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional
🧠 Need support right now? Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. You’re not alone — not in this job, not in this fight.
📱 Follow us on Facebook: Dispatched and Dysfunctional
🌐 Visit: www.critical-run.com to connect, share your story, or just vent
🎤 Got a call that changed you? Submit your story — we’ll carry it with care (and maybe a little dark humor).
⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast contains graphic content, emotional storytelling, and dark humor based on real-life EMS and first responder experiences. Listener discretion is advised.
Any medical discussion is personal opinion, not medical advice. Always follow your local protocols, medical direction, and training guidelines.
This podcast isn’t about fairy tales. It’s about real calls, real chaos, and the medics who survive both.
Dispatched & Dysfunctional — because sometimes the worst calls… make the best stories.