In the nonprofit sector lately, Helen and Mazarine have seen some glaring examples of white fragility. So, we decided to do an episode on what this is, and how we can do better. Are you wondering what white fragility is? how it shows up? listen up for some quick tips on what it is, how to recognize it, and how to do better as a white ally. Listen and subscribe to the podcast here: https://wildwomanfundraising.com/podcast/ According to Robin DiAngelo’s book, White Fragility, she writes: Here’s what people say their “feelings” are when White Fragility is going on- Singled out Attacked Silenced Shamed Guilty Accused Insulted Judged Angry Scared Outraged Here are the behaviors of white fragility- Crying Physically leaving Emotionally withdrawing Arguing Denying Focusing on intentions Seeking absolution Avoiding Here are the things people say when white fragility is going on- I know people of color Out of context Martin Luther King quote I marched in the sixties I already know all this You are judging me You don’t know me You are generalizing That is just your opinion I disagree The real oppression is class [or gender, or anything other than race] You are elitist I just said one little innocent thing Some people find offense where there is none My friend said that this word is not racist therefore I am not being racist. You’re playing the race card You misunderstood me I feel so attacked right now The problem is your tone That was not my intention I have suffered too. You hurt my feelings. You’re being racist against me You are making me feel guilty I don’t feel safe. Here are the assumptions that are going on when white fragility is appearing- Racism is simply personal prejudice I am free of racism I will be the judge of whether racism has occurred My learning is finished; I know all I need to know. Racism can only be intentional; my not having intended racism cancels out the impact of my behavior My suffering relieves me of racism or racial privilege White people who experience another form of oppression cannot experience racial privilege. If I am a good person, I can’t be racist. I am entitled to remain comfortable/have this conversation the way I want to. How I am perceived by others is the most important issue. As a white person, I know the best way to challenge racism. If I am feeling challenged, you are doing this wrong. It’s unkind to point out racism. Racism is conscious bias. i have none, so I am not racist. Racists are bad individuals, so you are saying I am a bad person. If you knew me or understood me, you would know I can’t be racist. I have friends of color, so I can’t be racist. There is no problem, society is fine the way it is. Racism is a simple problem. People just need to… My worldview is objective, and is the only one operating. If I can’t see it, it isn’t legitimate. If you have more knowledge on the subject than I do, you think you’re better than me. Here are the rules of engagement for white fragility. Do not give me feedback on my racism under any circumstances. If you DO break this first rule, then Proper tone is crucial. feedback must be given calmly. If any emotion is displayed, the feedback is invalid and can be dismissed. You must give feedback privately. If you give feedback in front of others, is to commit a serious social transgression. If you cannot protect me from embarrassment, the feedback is invalid, and YOU are the transgressor. There must be trust between us. You must trust that I am in no way racist before you can give me feedback on my racism. Our relationship must be issue-free- if there are issues between us, you cannot give me feedback on racism until these unrelated issues are resolved. You must be as indirect as possible. Directness is insensitive and will invalidate the feedback and require repair. As a white person, I must feel completely safe during any