The more time I spend in the pain alone and trying to define it, not resisting I prove it to me time and time again, the self is dependable. Give a listen to see how sitting with and walking along the pained and traumaed parts of me with out trying to force, resist, despise builds that inner trust. All that builds fortifies and makes an inner resistance, resilience that doesn't require an outside person, like a romantic person to "make everything better". They just cloud the progress is you don't have a healthy esteem and connection to self