Name What Works

In this episode of Name What Works, Ashley Radzat talks with her longtime friend Tobi Becerra about the reality of being in the sandwich generation: raising a teenager while also caring for aging parents.

Tobi shares how her life changed when her parents lost expected income and her mom’s medical needs increased. Instead of her parents being the active support system she imagined, Tobi now finds herself helping manage their lives while also being a wife, mother, and professional.

Ashley and Tobi talk about the identity shift that happens when someone who chose to parent one child suddenly feels like they are “mothering” their parents too. Tobi explains that the different roles can bleed together, making it impossible to be her best self everywhere at once.

A major theme is honest communication. Tobi explains that her family does not hide the hard moments. Instead, they talk about misplaced anger, emotional overload, and what everyone needs. Ashley connects this to the importance of helping kids fill in the story instead of leaving them to guess.

The conversation also explores self-care, boundaries, and taking life one step at a time. Tobi shares that she tries to protect her energy through exercise, sleep, good food, a calming space, and permission to shut down when she needs to.

In this episode:

● What it means to be in the sandwich generation

● How caregiving changes your identity

● Why parents do not have to be perfect

● How honest conversations create safety

● Why kids need context, not secrecy

● How to respond instead of just react

● Why self-care is not a deficiency

● How to take one bite at a time

This episode is a reminder that family life does not require perfection. It requires honesty, compassion, boundaries, and the willingness to keep showing up, even when life feels messy.

What happens when you are raising children in different stages of life and realize the same parenting approach does not work for everyone?

In this episode of Name What Works, Ashley talks with Gloria Lewis, parent educator, speaker, author, and founder of the Forever Parenting Project.

Gloria shares her experience raising three sons with six and seven year age gaps between them. At first, she thought parenting was simply getting harder with each child. Over time, she realized the age gap was creating different needs, different stages, and different responses from

her as a parent.

The biggest turning point came when her oldest son became a teenager and started pointing out that she was parenting his younger brothers differently. Gloria admits that at first, she reacted instead of responding. She took it personally, felt challenged, and moved into control.

But that moment eventually helped her see that she needed to grow, learn, and shift the way she parented.

Ashley and Gloria talk about parenting styles, yelling, being triggered, listening, birth order, developmental stages, and the humility it takes to admit to your children that you are changing.

Gloria reminds parents that raising teenagers is not just about helping them grow. It also grows the parent. When parents become more aware of themselves, their child’s stage, and the family dynamic, they can respond with more intention and less stress.

In this episode:

● What changes when children have a significant age gap

● Why the same parenting style may not work for every child

● How teens notice differences in parenting

● Why parents react when they feel challenged

● The difference between reacting and responding

● How Gloria moved away from yelling

● Why parenting teens requires self-awareness

● Why developmental stages and birth order matter

● How parents can pause before reacting

● Why safe communication is one of the biggest things that works

If you are parenting children in different stages, this episode is a reminder that you do not have to get it perfect. You can learn, adjust, apologize, grow, and create a home where your child feels safe enough to communicate with you.

What actually helps a teenager open up, build trust, and start finding their own way?

In this episode of Name What Works, Ashley talks with Kahlo, a 17-year-old rising senior, hockey player, photographer, and future sports journalism student.

Kahlo shares what life looks like for him right now: hockey, friends, the gym, SAT pressure, college plans, and figuring out who he wants to become. He opens up about how photography became more than a hobby after he started showing up to games with a camera and creating

his own opportunities.

Ashley and Kahlo also talk about the parent-teen relationship from a teen’s point of view. Kahlo explains that teens need guidance, but they also need space to figure things out. He shares why trust has to be mutual, why parents being too controlling can push teens away, and why

freedom comes from earning trust back after it has been broken.

The conversation also explores risk-taking, peer pressure, identity, sports culture, burnout, SAT stress, and the pressure teens feel when they are trying to plan their future while still wanting to enjoy their life.

In this episode:

● Why teens may pull away during the summer

● How Kahlo created opportunities through sports photography

● Why teens still need adults for advice

● What helps a teen feel safe going to their parents

● Why trust is a two-way street

● How teens can earn freedom by rebuilding trust

● Why risk-taking is part of growing up

● How sports can shape identity and pressure

● What SAT stress feels like from a teen’s perspective

● Why parents need to know when to lead, coach, guide, and back off

If you are raising a teenager, this episode is a reminder that connection does not come from control. It comes from trust, curiosity, guidance, and knowing when to step back.

What if the biggest support a child needs in school is not just a better plan, but a stronger

relationship?

In this episode of Name What Works, Ashley Radzat sits down with her lifelong friend Natalia Hamalanien, a special education teacher with more than 20 years of experience working with

students who need extra support. Ashley and Natalia talk about dyslexia, special education, advocacy, parenting, and what it means to really see children as individuals. Both share personal experiences of growing up with learning differences and how those experiences shaped the way they understand students who struggle in traditional classrooms.

Natalia opens up about being told to “work harder” when school was not designed for the way her brain worked. She explains why learning differences have nothing to do with intelligence, how relationships can change a student’s experience of school, and why kids need adults who

believe in them before they fully believe in themselves.

Together, Ashley and Natalia explore the importance of trust between students, parents, and

teachers. They discuss why parents should advocate for their children, how to communicate

with schools without turning every conversation into a battle, and why middle school is a critical

time to help students practice self-advocacy.

This conversation is a reminder that every child is individualized. Some kids fit the school mold

more easily than others, but every child needs relationship, encouragement, patience, and adults who are willing to notice what is working.

In this episode:

● Why dyslexia is not an IQ problem

● How learning differences can become strengths

● Why “work harder” is not always the right answer

● How relationships help students feel safe and supported

● Why parents and teachers need to work as a team

● How to help middle schoolers advocate for themselves

● Why behavior is often communication

● How small wins build trust and confidence

If you are parenting a child who learns differently, struggles in school, or needs extra support,

this episode will help you slow down, see the child behind the behavior, and understand why

relationship is one of the most powerful tools we have.

Connect with Ashley Radzat and tune into more conversations on Name What Works.

Connect with Natalia Hamalaninen: possibilities-abound.my.canva.site/camino-consulting

What happens when a deeply feeling child becomes a teenager trying to fit in, find friends, and figure out who she really is?

In this episode of Name What Works, Ashley talks with Phoebe, a former student she taught from first through eighth grade and has stayed close with into young adulthood.

Phoebe reflects on what it was like to grow up as a deeply empathetic child who felt other people’s emotions intensely. From an early age, she wanted everyone to be okay, often taking on other people’s pain and trying to care for the people around her.

As Phoebe moved into middle school and high school, that sensitivity became more complicated. She shares how friendship, popularity, rejection, and wanting to belong led her to change parts of herself to fit in. At times, she became a chameleon, adjusting her personality

and values around people she wanted to accept her.

Ashley and Phoebe also talk honestly about teen risk-taking, lying, guilt, and the pressure to be accepted. Phoebe explains that some of her choices were not about being a bad kid, but about wanting freedom, wanting friends, and trying to make sense of the noise inside of her.

The conversation gives parents a powerful reminder: teens are still becoming. Their behavior needs boundaries and consequences, but their character does not need to be put on trial.

In this episode:

● What it feels like to be a deeply empathetic child

● Why some kids take on other people’s emotions

● How friendship changes in middle school

● Why fitting in can make teens lose sight of themselves

● What popularity looked like from Phoebe’s perspective

● Why teens may lie to protect freedom or identity

● Why bad choices do not make a teen a bad person

● How parents can separate behavior from character

● Why calm conversations work better than emotional reactions

● What Phoebe would tell her younger self now

If you are raising a teenager who feels deeply, makes mistakes, or seems to be losing sight of who they are, this episode is a reminder that they are still in there. They need guidance, consequences, patience, and the steady belief that who they are is not the worst choice they made.

What if conflict with your child is not a sign that something has gone wrong, but part of the work of raising a capable human? In this episode of Name What Works, Ashley talks with Joe Newman, behavior consultant, speaker, and author of Raising Lions: How to Raise Children Who Can Handle Conflict, Difficulty, and Win. 

Joe shares how his work began from the inside out. As a child, he was studied for hyperactivity and grew up internalizing the belief that he was broken, disordered, and morally bad. Years later, he returned to schools to work with the kids who reminded him of himself: the defiant kids, the hard kids, the kids teachers were struggling to reach. 

Ashley and Joe talk about why so many traditional parenting approaches fail, especially when children become teens. Joe explains that many parents rely too heavily on control, approval, disapproval, explanations, and moralizing. But as kids grow, especially into adolescence, they begin seeking power, autonomy, and peer approval. The parent-child relationship has to shift. A major theme of the conversation is that parents need to have needs. Children do not benefit from parents who sacrifice themselves completely. They need adults who can assert needs, hold boundaries, create cause and effect, and tolerate frustration without making the child feel morally bad. Joe also explains why lying, defiance, and resistance are often developmentally normal. The goal is not to shame kids for testing limits. The goal is to understand the behavior, expect the conflict, follow through consistently, and teach responsibility through real-world cause and effect.

In this episode:

• Why some children internalize feeling broken or bad
• What inspired Joe to work with difficult and defiant kids
• Why parents need to have needs
• Why self-sacrifice can weaken the parent-child relationship
• How teens move away from approval and toward autonomy
• Why lying can be developmentally normal
• Why cause and effect matters more than moralizing
• Why chores, follow-through, and frustration build responsibility 

If you are raising a child or teen who pushes back, lies, resists, or challenges your control, this episode is a reminder that conflict does not mean you are failing. Your job is not to erase frustration. Your job is to use it wisely, stay in relationship, and teach the skills your child needs to handle life.

Description:

What if the best parenting lessons do not come from getting everything right, but from being willing to listen, repair, and keep showing up?

In this episode of Name What Works, Ashley Radzat sits down with her daughters, Kobain and Ava, for an honest conversation about what it was really like being raised by a parent and teen coach.

Together, they talk about single parenting, blended family life, strict boundaries, teenage conflict, social media, lying, independence, and the difference between what a parent intends and what a child experiences. Ashley opens the door for her daughters to share where she got it right,

where she missed the mark, and what they understand differently now as young adults.

Kobain shares how Ashley’s hands-off trust sometimes felt like having to figure life out alone. Ashley reflects on how she thought she was giving autonomy, but her daughter experienced it as a lack of support. Ava shares how some of Ashley’s parenting around values and morality

created guilt, even when the intention was to help her make good choices.

This conversation is not about perfect parenting. It is about repair, honesty, and the willingness to hear your child’s experience without immediately defending yourself. Ashley and her daughters show that strong relationships are built through ongoing conversation, not one perfect response.

In this episode:

● What Ashley’s daughters say she was really like as a mom

● How parenting changes as kids become adults

● Why good intentions can still hurt

● How strict boundaries can feel different to different children

● Why teens are still figuring out their values

● What parents should understand about lying and risk-taking

● Why repair matters more than perfection

● What actually worked in Ashley’s relationship with her daughters

If you are raising teens, repairing with adult children, or wondering whether you are doing enough, this episode will remind you that parenting is not one moment in time. It is an evolving relationship built through listening, humility, boundaries, and the willingness to keep coming back to the conversation.

Connect with Ashley Radzat and tune into more conversations on Name What Works.

What if the moment your teenager shuts down, talks back, or makes a mistake is not proof that something is wrong, but an invitation to see the full picture?

In this first episode of Name What Works, Ashley Radzat introduces the methodology behind her work with parents, teens, families, and schools. As an educator, author, and parent-teen coach, Ashley helps parents move out of fear and back into connection by learning how to pause, regulate, and name what is still working.

Ashley explains why parents naturally notice what is going wrong. Eye rolls, missing homework, messy rooms, lies, and emotional outbursts can quickly pull a parent into fear. One difficult moment can start to feel like proof of a terrible future. A slammed door becomes “I’m losing my child.” A missing assignment becomes “They’ll never be responsible.” A disrespectful moment becomes “My teen is disrespectful.”

Through the Name What Works methodology, Ashley shows parents how to interrupt that fear story. Instead of reacting from panic, shame, or urgency, parents can pause, separate facts from fear, look for evidence of their child’s strengths, and respond with curiosity and clarity.

In this episode:

● Why parents naturally focus on what is going wrong

● How fear can turn one hard moment into a story about the future

● Why your teen’s behavior is not their entire identity

● How to pause before reacting from panic or shame

● What it means to become a detective and name what works

● How curiosity helps parents respond instead of react

If you have ever felt afraid that your teenager’s behavior means something is wrong with them, or that you are failing as a parent, this episode will help you slow the moment down, see your child more clearly, and begin responding from connection instead of fear.

Connect with Ashley Radzat and tune into more conversations on Name What Works.