“The narcissist devours people, consumes their output, and casts the empty, writhing shells aside.” — Sam Vaknin.   Narcissists and psychopaths are well-known for a tactic known as “baiting.” They deliberately provoke you so that you emotionally react.   These individuals are notorious because they destabilize our lives.  Narcissists and psychopaths dissociate (erase memories) a lot (are amnesiac) because their contact with the world and with others is via a fictitious construct: The false self. Narcissists never experience reality directly but through a distorting lens darkly. They get rid of any information that challenges their grandiose self-perception and the narrative they had constructed to explicate, excuse and legitimize their antisocial, self-centred and exploitative behaviors, choices and idiosyncrasies.  With Halloween approaching, it’s high time to remember that nothing is scarier than a narcissist or psychopath’s emotional vampirism, or their true self unmasked. Ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and monsters under the bed simply do not compare to the real-life monsters who may be lurking in your bed. Narcissists and psychopaths manufacture chaos to keep you focused on them and only them. They know they cannot sustain your interest in them long-term because they rely on a false mask to navigate the world.

Manufactured chaos allows malignant narcissists to keep you on the hamster wheel of trying to figure out their intentions and second-guessing yourself. They try to train you to question what you did wrong rather than holding them accountable for their actions. They convince you that setting boundaries or expressing discomfort with their disturbing antics is the problem, rather than their problematic behavior.  1. Instigating crazymaking arguments.

Narcissists and psychopaths are well-known for a tactic known as “baiting.” They deliberately provoke you so that you emotionally react and swallow their blameshifting hook, line, and sinker.   2. Ruining holidays, special occasions or sabotaging you before big events.

Have you ever noticed that a narcissist or psychopath is usually overly negative and sullen right around the holidays, or around times where you should be celebrating, such as a birthday, the news of a promotion or career success? This is no coincidence. These emotional predators despise holidays and special events because these take the attention off of them. They reveal contempt for such a celebration either through overt put-downs or even underhanded sabotage.  3. Provoking jealousy and using love triangles to make you compete.


GET  OUT...The Big Picture

Manufacturing chaos is one of the main ways a narcissist gains control over a victims psyche. When you are too busy trying to defend yourself against the narcissists gaslighting or accusations, you have less time to see reality for what it is. The reality is: the narcissist is instigating crazymaking arguments, trying to provoke jealousy in you, sabotaging you before big events, depriving you of sleep, micromanaging you, and ruining holidays. The smoke and mirrors the narcissist surrounds you with to blameshift as they deliberately provoke you and then shame you for setting boundaries or speaking out are meant as diversions.

Solution? Remove yourself from the hamster wheel of chaos altogether. You don’t have to run in circles trying to prove your worth or your reality and perceptions. You know what you felt and experienced. Let that be enough.

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